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Recent reviews by Slow Reflexes

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5,360.8 hrs on record (4,005.8 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
After 4000 hours of playing Counter Strike Global Offensive, I can confidently say that this game is a masterclass in frustration and disappointment.

Let's start with the graphics. The game looks like it was developed during the Great Depression. The maps are drab and dull, and the character models look like they were designed by a first-year art student who forgot to put his glasses on.

But the real fun starts when you get into gameplay. The mechanics are as smooth as a gravel road, and the hit detection is about as reliable as a Magic 8 Ball. You can shoot someone in the face from point-blank range and they'll just shrug it off like it was a mosquito bite. And don't even get me started on the random recoil patterns that will make you feel like you're trying to shoot a bull in a china shop.

And let's not forget about the community. If you're looking for a friendly, welcoming group of people to play with, then CS:GO is not the game for you. The community is more toxic than a nuclear waste dump, and you're more likely to get called a noob than you are to get a friendly "good game."

Overall, after 4000 hours of playing, I can honestly say that CS:GO is a game that will test your patience, your sanity, and your will to live. But hey, at least it's not as bad as Minesweeper.

Authored by ChatGPT
Posted 15 April, 2023.
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