Paunch
179 ratings
Paunch - A Philosophical Masterpiece
By zeebarbeelbamboozlezebubage
oo oo aa aa bob throw rock
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What is Paunch and how do I win?
Paunch is a gift from the gods, a problem so complex and deep that it has astounded the greatest minds humanity has to offer. Plato, Nietzsche, Goethe and Socrates have all been baffled by this enigmatic masterpiece. It would be blasphemous to claim to understand the intricacies of PAUNCH, however it is possible for us to offer some guidance on how to navigate - perhaps even win - this treasure of a game.

Each match is divided into 11 rounds, each ending after one of the competitors perish at the hands of the other. There are two ways to kill your opponent: clashing or sniping, which will be covered in the Combat section of the guide. Each time an enemy is killed, they spawn from a rock, destroying it. When there are no rocks remaining, the game enters sudden death. Whoever wins this round is the winner of the match. If the timer of the game expires before the sudden death round is reached, then the match results in a draw.

If you are the victor of a match, your total score (which can be seen from the homepage) will go up by however many points you earned. If you are the loser, then your total score will decrease by however many points the enemy scored.

In the end, all that matters is the sudden death round. You can win every round consecutively, however if you lose the last round then your enemy will win, even if they hadn't killed you once before.
Combat
Clashing
Perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of PAUNCH, is the clash. These occur when the Bobs collide with each other, resulting in one or both of them dying.
My associates and I have run extensive tests on what determines the outcome of each clash. All results point to it having to do with whoever paunches the other person first. If your fist connects with them first, the general pattern is that you will win the clash.

A way you can normally assure winning a clash is by running into your opponent as they spawn in after death. Nine out of ten times this will win you the clash. Immediately after dying, it takes between five and seven seconds to respawn. The rock that the enemy player will emerge from is indicated by a red glow, which will grow in intensity the closer the player is to respawning.


A rock indicating a player will spawn

Sniping
The other way of taking down the evil Bob is through sniping. This is when a rock is thrown at the evil Bob, killing him. Unless your opponent is stood still (which is never recommended) always aim slightly infront of where they are. Over time, it will become naturally easier to predict an enemy's movement and also how far ahead to aim depending on the distance between you and your rival.
As with clashing, you can use the telltale red glow to your advantage. If you time it correctly, you can prevent your enemy from spawning by continually throwing boulders at them as the red rock explodes.
Lore
Paunch
PAUNCH, in essence, is not a game but a lesson. A lesson that teaches us about what it is to be human, and our inherent flaws. The actual meaning of the word 'paunch' is a large stomach (like the belly of Bob, the being we play as), however it is more obviously a play-on-words of the word 'punch.'

The duality of the title is representative of what the game stands for, showing us that as humans, we have two sides to us. One being the side that we like to display to others - the one we are proud of. Our other face is the one we keep to ourselves, as it is far too twisted to be deemed acceptable. The goal of PAUNCH is to bring that second personality to light, acting as a microcosm for society and showing the true evil of mankind and its innate ability to seek out violence.

This message is clearly demonstrated in how punching is an involuntary action within the game. It is beyond our capabilities as humans to refrain from violence, how we automatically treat others around us with hostility. The second anyone comes close to us, we lash out with agression.


Similarly to William Golding's Lord of the Flies, PAUNCH exposes the true savagery of the human race when left unchecked. Similarly to the boys on the island, we are first bewildered by the lack of authority or rules and quickly descend into a barbaric, untamed situation.

Bob
The idea of self-denial is further portrayed by our opponents, which are mirror-images of ourselves. In triumphing over them, we conquer our darker instincts and convince ourselves we are unlike them; they are in the wrong, they are other, and we are better than them. This illusory beast that we confront is evil, not us. Reflected once again in Lord of the Flies, the boys invent the Beast to blame their actions on, refusing to accept responsibility for their actions and ignoring their true selves. However in Simon's encounter with the Beast, the pig's head replies with a crucial statement - “Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill!” The Beast is merely an invention that we create to fool ourselves into denying our true nature.

Evil Bob is not something you can defeat with rocks.



Boulders
A powerful message is conveyed through the boulders that devalue the meaning of violence and war, thus demonstrating the thin boundaries of the latter. Yes, the stones may dissipate throughout the course of the battle, yet more turmoil is birthed from these stones, such as the birth of a phoenix from hollow ashes, giving the sentiment of beauty, deformity, vice and virtute, in effect emphasising the deep and thoughtful symbolic meaning of the rocks. In trying to rid ourselves of our own personal Beast, we throw at them the very thing we come from, we throw our being at them. Ironically, one throws away their humanity to fool oneself into thinking they have defeated their inner demons. The stones are tossed so easily by the men, this statement depicts the microcosm that is Paunch, and shows that the theoretical water has only been disturbed by the internal sentiment of the Bobs.


TL;DR
throw rock at bald man make win oo oo ooo ah ah
34 Comments
Banana_Algorithm 6 May, 2024 @ 5:42pm 
Another true Paunch enthusiast, this game means so much for me. I can't put it into words, the only thing that i can say is that this game is the citizen kayne of videogames. In a couple of decades people will look back at the history of videogames and some people will look into this niche gem and apreciate it's masterpiece. Sic semper tyrannis.
bonus tip: if you stand exactly on the rock the other player will spawn you will instantly kill him. CLASHING DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XAXAXAXAAXXAXAXAXAXAXXAXAXAXAX ALL HAIL THE PAUNCH GOD ALL PRAY TO THE EMPTY BOULDER HONOUR YOUR BODY HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH IF YOU TRULLY BELIEVE IN THE ONE AND ONLY PAUNCH GOD YOU WILL WIN CLASHING THE ONLY TIMES I WON IS BECAUSE I WAS RACIST ENOUGH AND BELIEVED SO MUCH THAT I WILL WIN IT'S LIKE BAKI IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLASHING MAKES NO SENSE HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA HAIL BOB
cringeybabey 3 Sep, 2023 @ 11:06pm 
:bigjohn:
single grain of rice 11 Aug, 2023 @ 1:52am 
lol the tldr is just
throw rock at bald man make win oo oo ooo ah ah
19 Jun, 2023 @ 2:06am 
asd
toksiks 10 Jun, 2023 @ 11:33am 
crazy
Uberman 20 May, 2023 @ 6:32pm 
bless this holy text
Shininho666 27 Apr, 2023 @ 8:39am 
asd
JT_9 18 Mar, 2023 @ 3:18pm 
bob sex yes
Beard 9 Jan, 2023 @ 8:46am 
This is the greatest and most philosophical guide ever written by mere mortals.
Micromind 18 Jun, 2022 @ 3:47am 
This is truly the deepest dive into the philosophy of the Bobs and the boulders and yet it likely only scratches the surface of the game's true deeper meaning.