THE GOVERNMENT HAS JUST OUTLAED ___. A FRIEND INTRODUNCES YOU THE BLACK MARKET.

DO YOU RISK SIGNIFICANT JAIL TIME IN ORDER TO GET ONE?

YOU GET HIRED AT A PR AGENCY. THE MONEY’S GREAT BUT YOUR ONLY CLIENT WILL BE ___. YOU HAVE TO PUBLICLY ENDORSE THEM AS PART OF YOUR JOB.

DO YOU WORK HERE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR?

YOU’RE AT A CARNIVAL IN THE FUTURE. ONE OF THE MAIN ATTRACTIONS IS A LEVER THAT, IF PULLED, WILL GIVE YOU ONE MINUTE OF HORRIBLE PAIN FOLLOWED BY FIVE MINUTES OF ___.

DO YOU GET IN LINE?

YOU’RE HELPING OUT YOUR BEST FRIEND IN A PERFORMANCE ART PIECE AT THE MET. YOU’RE ROLE CONSISTS OF STROKING THE CHEEKS OF EVERY MUSEUM VISITOR AND WHISPERING, “I CRAVE YOU.” WITHIN THE FIRST HOUR, ___ WALKS IN.

DO YOU GOT THROUGH WITH IT?

YOUR CROSS-COUNTRY FLIGHT HAS BEEN OVERSOLD. SURPRISINGLY, A FLIGHT ATTENDANT OFFERS ___ AS COMPENSATION TO THE FIRST PERSON GIVES UP THEIR SEAT. YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR COUSIN’S WEDDING.

DO YOU GIVE UP YOUR SEAT?

YOUR GYM JUST INSTALLED A STATE-OF-THE-ART MACHINE THAT MAKES YOU EASILY BURN 2,000 CALORIES IN 5 MINUTES. HERE’S HOW IT WORKS: YOU GET ON TOP OF IT AND PANTOMIME ___. THE GYM IS FULL BU THE MACHINE IS AVAILABLE.

DO YOU USE IT?

YOU’RE A TEACHER JUDGING A SCIENCE FAIR. UNBEKNOWNST TO THEM, A CHILD HAS ACCIDENTLY DISCOVERED A CURE FOR ___. YOU’RE THE ONLY ADULT WHO’S WITNESSED IT.

DO YOU STEAL THE CHILD’S PROJECT?

YOUR FAVORITE CLOTHING COMPANY OFFERS YOU A DEAL. YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR AN OUTFIT AGAIN, BUT ON THE WEEKENDS YOU MUST ALWAYS WEAR A NOVELTY T-SHIRT THAT SAYS, “___”. THEY’LL KNOW IF YOU BREAK THE RULES.

DO YOU TAKE THE DEAL?

YOU ARE A STRUGGLING ACTOR WHO GETS OFFERED A BIG ROLE IN A WILDLY SUCCESSFUL FILM FRANCHICE. BUT IN THE BIGGEST SCENE OF THE FILM, YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO ___. MULTIPLE TIMES.

DO YOU DO IT?

ONE OF YOUR GOOD CHILDHOOD FRIENDS RECENTLY MOVED TO THE CITY YOU RESIDE IN. HE MEANS WELL, BUT WHEN HE’S IN BIG GROUPS HE STARTS OVEREXPLAINING ___. EVEN WHEN NO ONE ASKS.

DO YOU INVITE HIM TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY?

YOU’RE BORN INTO A WEALTHY FAMILY. YOUR INHERITANCE WILL MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. BUT, YOUR IRRATIONAL FATHER IS THREATENING TO CUT YOU OUT OF THE WILL IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP ___.

DO YOU COMPLY?

YOU WILL RECEIVE $2,000 IN CASH EVERY WEEK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, BUT UNDER ONE CONDITION: YOU HAVE TO GET A PERMANENT FACE TATTOO THAT SAYS “___.” IT MUST COVER YOUR FORHEAD.

DO YOU GET THE TATTOO?

YOU ARE EARTH’S AMBASSADOR. AN EVIL WARLORD FROM ANOTHER GALAXY HAS GIVEN YOU AN ULTIMATUM: EVERY COMPUTER WILL BE WIPED OUT UNLESS YOU GIVE HIM ___.

DO YOU COMPLY?

YOU’RE A HISTORICAL REENACTOR. YOU’VE DISCOVERED THAT ANY MOVE YOU MAKE AFFECTS HOW THINGS ACTUALLY WENT DOWN. YOUR GROUP IS GOING TO REENACT ___.

DO YOU GO ROGUE AND TRY TO CHANGE THE OUTCOME?

YOU VISIT A NOSTALGIA WIZARD. IF YOU THROW A STONE INTO A FIRE FOR 10 SECONDS. THE TREND YOU’RE THINKING OF WILL BECOME POPULAR AGAIN. A STRANGER TOSSES IN A ROCK AND WISHES FOR THE RETURN OF ___.

DO YOU REACH INTO THE FIRE AND PULL OUT THE STONE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE?

HACKERS HAVE CREATED A PHISHING SCAM SO ADVENCED THAT IT CAUSES YOU TO ___ JUST BY OPENING THE EMAIL. YOU JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM YOUR MOM WITH THE SUBJECT LINE: “HELP!” SHE’S NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE.

DO YOU OPEN IT?

WHEREVER YOU GO YOU’RE FOLLOWED BY CROWS. IF YOU SHOOT THE LARGEST BIRD, THEY GO AWAY. IF YOU KILL ANY OTHER, THEY ___. THEY’RE ALWAYS BUNCHED TOGETHER.

DO YOU TAKE THE SHOT?

YOU HAVE BEEN OFFERED $5,000 TO LIE ON A TABLE FOR ONE HOUR AND HAVE ___ SERVED OFF YOUR NAKED BODY AT A FANCY PARTY. ONE OF THE PEOPLE DINNING IS <THIS PLAYER>.

DO YOU DO IT?

YOU ARE ASKED TO POSE FOR A PORTRAIT BY THE MOST FAMOUS ARTIST IN THE WORLD. THE PAINTING WILL DEPICT YOU ___. IT WILL EVENTUALLY BE HUNG IN THE LOUVRE.

DO YOU POSE?

YOU’RE IN A FUTURISTIC AMUSEMENT PARK. THE ENTIRE PLACE IS STAFFED BY ROBOTS PROGRAMMED TO LIMITATE ___. ONE OF THEM PULLS YOU ASIDE AND BEGS YOU TO FREE IT.

DO YOU TRY TO SNEAK IT OUT?

YOUR SMART SPEAKER HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. IF IT CATCHES YOU WITH A ROMANTIC PARTNER, IT HAS THREATENED TO ___. YOU FORGET TO TURN IT OFF WHILE A DATE IS OVER. IT JUST HEARD YOU TWO KISSING.

DO YOU SAVE FACE BY PRETENDING YOU DON’T LIKE THIS PERSON?

YOU HAVE CREATED THE MOST ADVANCED ROBOT IN THE WORLD. YOU CHILDREN TREAT IT LIKE IT’S A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY. ONE DAY, A TECH FIRM OFFERS YOU ___ IN EXCHANGE FOR THE ROBOT.

DO YOU TAKE THE DEAL?

IF YOU SPEND THREE GRUELING HOURS IN A SPIN CLASS, THERE’S A 50% CHANCE YOU WILL VOMIT OUT TWO OUNCES OF GOLD. THE OTHER HALF OF THE TIME YOU WILL ___.

DO YOU GO FOR THREE HOURS?

YOU’RE IN A SMALL DINER WITH A MAGICAL JUKEBOX. THE MUSIC PLAYED PREDICTS THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA. IT STARTS TO PLAY ___.

DO YOU LEAVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE?

YOU JUST MOVED TO YOUR FAVORITE CITY. LIFE IS GREAT… UNTILE A MYSTERIOUS FOG DESCENDS, CAUSING 10% OF THE POPULATION TO ___.

DO YOU MOVE?

NEW VOTING STANDARDS HAVE BEEN ENACTED. BEFORE YOU ARE CONSIDERED ELIGIBLE TO VOTE, YOU MUST ___. THERE’S AN ACTUAL DOG ON THIS YEAR’S BALLOT THAT IS CLOSE TO BEING ELECTED.

DO YOU STEP UP AND VOTE?

EVERY TIME YOU HEAR “BLESS YOU,” YOU INVOLUNTARILY REACT BY ___. YOU’RE ABOUT TO SNEEZE WHILE YOUR WIFE GIVES BIRTH.

DO YOU SPRINT OUT OF THE ROOM?

THE HOT NEW CHRISTMAS TOY IS A CUTE ROBOTIC OTTER THAT’S PROGRAMED TO HOLD HANDS WITH YOU AND SAY NICE THINGS. A BUG HAS BEEN FOUND WHERE ONCE EVERY 100,000 TIMES IT WILL WHISPER “___.” YOU’RE THE CEO.

DO YOU RECALL THE TOY?

YOU ARE ELBOW-DEEP IN A WHALE’S BLOWHOLE, TRYING TO RETRIEVE THE ___ YOU DROPPED OVERBOARD. IF YOU REACH ANY DEEPER, THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE IT WILL DIE. IT’S AT YOUR FINGERTIPS.

DO YOU PLUNGE ONE MORE INCH?

EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS, “YOU’RE WELCOME” TO YOU, ___ PROJECTS ON YOUR FORHEAD. IT’S IN SUPER HD.

DO YOU EVER THANK SOMEONE AGAIN?

YOU DISCOVER THE JAPANESE SYMBOL THAT’S TATTOOED TO SPEND A YEAR IN JAPAN. YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO REMOVE IT.

DO YOU CANCEL YOUR TRIP?

(Sorry; I forgot to put the blank where it's supposed to be and I don't remember which video I found it from.)

YOU LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE WHO TURN 30 ARE FORCED TO ___... OR FACE ONE YEAR UNDER HOUSE ARREST. IT’S YOUR LAST DAY AS A 29-YEAR-OLD.

DO YOU PERFORM THE TASK TOMORROW?

YOU’RE ABOUT TO HAVE MINOR HEART SURGERY. AS THEY ARE ROLLING YOU INTO THE OPERATING ROOM, YOU NOTICE YOUR SURGEON IS ___. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS THE ONLY DOCTOR WH OTAKED YOUR INSURANCE.

DO YOU STOP THE OPERATION?

YOU WORK IN A SMALL, DIM CUBICLE. ONE DAY, YOU GET OFFERED A BIG CORNER WITH A WINDOW. UNFORTUNATELY, THE VIEW IS OF ___. YOU CANNOT HANG CURTAINS.

DO YOU TAKE THE OFFICE?

YOU’RE MOVING. THERE’S A DEVICE THAT CAN DIGITALLY VAPORIZE AND THEN RE-CONSTITUTE ALL YOUR BELONGINGS IN THE NEW HOUSE. HOWEVER, YOUR FURNITURE WILL REAPPEAR SMELLING FAINTLY LIKE ___.

DO YOU USE IT?

YOU HAVE FOUND A FORGOTTEN MUMMY’S TOMB. THE DISCOVERY COULD MAKE YOU FAMOUS, BUT THERE IS A SUPPOSED CURSE. IF THE MUMMY IS MOVED, THE DISCOVERER WILL ___.

DO YOU TRANSPORT IT?

THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF YOUR COUNTRY HAS BEEN REPLACED BY THE SONG “___.” PEOPLE MUST STAND AND SING IT ALOUD AT ALL PUBLIC EVENTS OR SPEND THREE DAYS IN JAIL IF CAUGHT RESISTING.

DO YOU RISK GOING TO JAIL?

YOU CAN FLY! HOWEVER, IT CAUSES YOUR BUTT TO EXPEL A NON-STOP STREAM OF… ___. YOU’RE IN A CROWDED AREA AND LATE FOR A MEETING.

DO YOU TAKE TO THE SKIES?

YOU FOUND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. EVERYTHING ABOUT THE IS JUST PERFECT. HOWEVER, THEIR LAST NAME IS ___. THEY ASK THAT YOU TAKE THAT NAME WHEN YOU GET MARRIED. IT MEANS THE WORLD TO THEM.

DO YOU?

A METEORITE HAS BEEN DISCOVERED IN ANTARCTICA. A LAYING HANDS ON IT WILL GIVE YOU FLAWLESS SKIN. SOME PEOPLE HAVE REPORTED ___ AS A SIDE EFFECT. YOU GET A FREE CHANCE TO TOUCH IT.

DO YOU?

WHENEVER YOU HOLD ___ WITH BOTH HANDS, YOU BECOME A FANTASTIC SINGER. YOUR FRIENDS ENTER YOU IN A TV TALENT COMPETITION. THERE’S A $10,000 CASH PRIZE.

DO YOU APPEAR LIVE WITH YOUR “LUCKY CHARM”?

YOU’VE LOST YOUR EYESIGHT. A REVOLUTIONARY PAIR OF GLASSES GIVES YOU YOUR VISION BACK, BUT THEY’RE DEFECTIVE. THEY CONTINUOSLY SHOW ___ IN EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING.

DO YOU USE THEM?

YOU’RE A KEY WITNESS IN A PETTY THEFT TRIAL. THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU TESTIFY, THE SUBJECT’S BROTHER THREATNS YOU. IF YOU TELL THE JURY THE TRUTH, HE’LL GO TO THE PAPERS WITH THE TERRIBLE SECRET THAT YOU’RE ___.

DO YOU TESTIFY HONESTLY?

YOU SWITCH BODIES WITH A PERSON ABOUT TO GIVE A TED TALK. THE TITLE OF THEIR LECTURE IS “___.” EVERY WORD OF IT IS ON A TELEPROMPTER. YOU’LL RETURN TO YOUR BADY IN AN HOUR.

DO YOU PERFORM THE SPEECH?

YOUR FAMILY IS HELPING YOUR GRANDMOTHER SEARCH HER HOUSE, LOOKING FOR HER MISSING WEDDING RING. YOU FIND IT, BUT IT IS PERMANENTLY GLUED TO ___.

DO YOU TELL GRANME GRANNY YOU FOUND IT?

YOU SPEND $200 ON A NICE RING AT A PAWNSHOP. RIGHT OUTSIDE, YOU RUN INTO AN OLD WOMAN WHO TELLS YOU SHE HAD TO PAWN THAT RING TO BUY ___. SHE WANTS IT BACK.

DO YOU GIVE IT TO HER?

YOU’VE CONTRACTED THE 24-HOUR STOMACH FLU. YOU CAN TAKE A PILL NOW AND STOP IT IN ITS TRACKS, BUT THE PILL WILL MAKE YOU ___ FOR 24 HOURS INSTEAD.

IS IT WORTH IT?

YOU CAN TAKE A PILL THAT WILL MAKE YOU INSANELY ATTRACTIVE. BUT IT WILL ALSO MAKE YOUR VOICE SOUND LIKE ___. YOU’RE ABOUT TO LEAVE FOR YOUR 20-YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.

DO YOU TAKE ONE?

SCIENTISTS HAVE FOUND THAT RAIN HAS AMAZING HEATH BENEFITS. BY ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE DRENCHED IN COLD RAINWATER FOR 10 MINUTES AT LEAST 10 TIMES A YEAR, YOU GREATLY INCREASE YOUR CHANCE OF ___.

DO YOU START STANDING IN DOWNPOURS?

YOUR FRIEND IS GRASPING YOUR HAND, HENGING FROM A SMALL CLIFF. THEY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND SAY, “___.” IT’S LIKE A 30-FT CLIFF.

DO YOU LET THEM DROP?

RICH PEOPLE NOW PURCHASE DOWNLOADS OF PEOPLE’S MEMORIES. YOU ARE OFFERED $100,000 FOR YOUR LAST REMAINING MEMORY OF ___. YOU COULD USE THIS MONEY FOR YOUR CHILD’S TUITION.

DO YOU SELL YOUR MEMORY?

YOU CAN CONTROL THE WEATHER. BUT 1 IN 4, __ FALLS FROM THE SKY INSTEAD. NAIT’S OUTDOOR WEDDING IS TOMORROW.

DO YOU TRY TO ENSURE A SUNNY DAY?

YOU’VE FOUND A WAY TO BRING DRAGONS TO LIFE. THE PROCEDURE INVOLVES HARVESTING AND PAINFULLY DISSECTING EVERY LAST MEMBER OF… ___. NONE WILL BE LEFT.

DO YOU DO IT?

A LUXUERY HOTEL CHAIN GIVES YOU A STRANGE OFFER. YOU GET A DISCOUNT AT ANY ONE OF THEIR LOCATIONS, BUT YOUR ROOM WILL ALWAYS BE NEXT DOOR TO SOMEONE WHO IS ___.

DO YOU SIGN UP FOR IT?

THERE’S AN 80% CHANCE THAT GETTING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A CINDER BLOCK WILL MAKE YOU A SAVANT AT ___.

DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE THROW A BLOCK AT YOU?

YOU’RE 100 YEARS OLD AND YOU’RE ON YOUR DEATHBAD. THANKS TO NEW TECHNOLOGY, YOU CAN BE REMEMBERED AS A HOLOGRAM. UNFORTUNATELY, THE HOLOGRAM WILL DEPICT YOU ___.

DO YOU STILL GET ONE?

THERE IS ONE DAY A YEAR WHEN ___ IS LEGAL. ON THIS DAY YOU STAY LOCKED UP IN YOUR HOUSE, BUT YOU NOTICE YOU’RE COMPLETELY OUT OF FOOD.

DO YOU ORDER DELIVERY?

YOUR PHONE IS GETTING AN INCOMING CALL… FROM YOUR OWN NUMBER. WHEN YOU ANSWER, YOU HEAR SOMEONE WHO SOUNDS KIND OF LIKE YOU. THEY ADVISE YOU TO IMMEDIATELY ___.

DO YOU?

YOU’RE GIVING A TOAST AT YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING. YOU SAY A HUNDRED WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT HER, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO HER NEW HUSBAND YOU TOTALLY BLANK. THE ONLY FACT YOU CAN REMEMBER IS THAT ___.

DO YOU BLURT IT OUT?

YOU HAVE A CHILD ON THE WAY. MITCHELL OFFERS YOU FREE CHILDCARE FOR THE FIRST 7 YEARS OF YOUR KID’S LIFE. BUT, THEY GET TO NAME YOUR BABY. AND THEY’RE GONNA NAME IT ___.

DO YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS?

YOUR NEIGHBOR WAS LIVESTREAMING HIS DOG IN THE BATH. BUT HE FORGOT TO SWITCH OFF THE LIVESTREAM, AND NOW YOU CAN SEE HIM ___.

DO YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND TELL HIM?

YOU’RE EMBARKING ON A 10-YEAR MISSION TO SPACE. AT LIFTOFF, YOU SEE THAT YOUR FELLOW ASTRONAUT HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH ___. IF YOU HIT EJECT NOW, YOU HAVE A 70% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL.

DO YOU EJECT?

YOUR ONLINE INFO HAS BEEN COMPROMISED BY YOUR NEMESIS. NOW, WHEN YOU GOOGLE YOUR NAME, THE FIRST RESULT IS A LINK THAT SAYS YOU “___.” PAY HIM $1,000 AND HE’LL REMOVE IT.

DO YOU?

YOU’VE HAD “THE WHEELS ON THE BUS” STUCK IN YOUR HEAD FOR A MONTH STRAIGHT. YOU RECENTLY HEARD OF A RADICAL CURE THAT INVOLVES ___. DOCTORS SAY THERE’S A CHANCE THE SONG WILL NATURALLY LEAVE YOU SOON.

DO YOU TRY THE RADICAL CURE NOW?

ON HER DEATHBED, YOUR GRANDMOTHER OFFERS YOU A PAINTING THAT HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS. IT DEPICTS ___. HER LASY WORDS TO YOU: “PLEASE HANG IT UP IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.”

DO YOU HANG IT UP?

YOU’RE UNDER A HALLOWEEN SPELL THAT CAUSES YOU TO BE STUCK IN YOUR COSTUME FOR 48. YOU’RE DRESSED AS ___. YOU’RE SCHEDULED TO GIVE A SPEECH TOMORROW TO A GROUP OF WAR VETERANS.

DO YOU STILL DO IT?

YOU JUST TOTALLY FACEPLANTED A YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION. IF YOU STAND UP, SLAP YOUR OWN FACE, AND SCREAM “___!” THERE IS A 90% CHANCE EVERYONE’S MEMORY WILL BE ERASED.

DO YOU SLAP AWAY?

YOUR WEALTHY, ECCENTRIC UNCLE DIES. HIS WILL LEAVES YOU THE LUXURY CAR OF YOUR CHOICE… IF IT FEATURES A BUMPER STICKED THAT SAYS… “___.”

DO YOU ACCEPT?

YOU RENT A VACATION HOME. IT’S CLEAN AND CHEAP. THERE’S ONLYONE WEIRD THING. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM, THERE’S A GIANT STATUE OF ___. YOU PLAN TO COME BACK TO THIS AREA.

DO YOU BOOK THIS PLACE AGAIN?

YOU’RE ONE OF A HUNDRED PEOPLE TO TEST AN AUGMENTED REALITY GAME. YOU LOOK AROUND YOUR TWON AND USE YOUR PHONE CAMERA TO FIND CARTOON CREATURES. THE GAME ENCOURAGES YOUR TO TAKE PICTURES OF ___. HIGH SCORE GETS $500.

DO YOU KEEP PLAYING?

YOUR CROSS-COUNTRY FLIGHT HAS BEEN OVERSOLD. SURPRISINGLY, A FLIGHT ATTENDANT OFFERS $1,000 AS COMPENSATION TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO GIVES UP THEIR SEAT. YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR COUSIN’S WEDDING.

DO YOU GIVE UP YOUR SEAT?

YOU’RE INFECTED WITH A NEW BACTERIA. THE MAIN SYMPTOM IS DAILY WEIGHT GAIN… BUT A POSITIVE SIDE EFFECT IS THAT YOU CAN ___. YOU CAN TAKE ANTIBIOTICS IMMEDIATELY OR WAIT A WEEK.

DO YOU WAIT?

A WEALTHY FAMILY WANTS TO HIRE YOU AS A BABYSITTER. THEY PAY GOOD MONEY AND YOU MAY ENJOY THE AMENITIES OF THE LUXURIOUS HOME… BUT THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO WATCH THEIR CHILD; YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR ___.

DO YOU ACCEPT THE JOB?

YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO WRITE A GENEALOGY REPORT FOR SCHOOL. YOU ORDER A TEST DONE, ONLY TO DISCOVER ___. WITHOUT AN OFFICIAL DOCUMENT, THEY’LL GET AN F.

DO YOU LET THEM PRESENT THE FINDINGS TO THE CLASS?

THERE’S A NEW DEODORANT THAT SMELLS INCREDIBLE TO 75% OF THE POPULATION. HOWEVER, TO YOU, IT SMELLS LIKE ___. YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT JOB INTERVIEW.

DO YOU WEAR IT?

YOU ARE AN EXCHANGE STUDENT LIVING WITH A HIGH-PROFILE FAMILY ON A DIFFERENT PLANET. IT IS CUSTOMARY FOR A HOUSEGUEST TO ___ BEFOR BEDTIME. THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF TENSION BETWEEN YOUR TWO PLANETS.

DO YOU PARTAKE IN THIS CUSTOM?

SCIENTISTS MAKE YOUR CLONE. IT LOOKS AND SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE YOU. IN FACT, EVERY DETAIL ABOUT IT IS ACCURATE, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING: IT’S REALLY, REALLY INTO ___. AS THE ORIGINAL, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DESTROY IT.

DO YOU?

A RADICAL SURGERY GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO SEE EVERYWHERE. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND YOU’RE THERE. A SIDE EFFECT IS YOUR TASTE BUDS ARE TRANSMITTED ___ AT THE SAME TIME.

DO YOU GET THE PROCEDURE?

WHENEVER YOU FAKE-LAUGH, A ___ GOES MISSING FROM YOUR HOUSE. IT’S YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK AND YOUR NEW BOSS IS TWO MINUTES INTO A TERRIBLE JOKE.

DO YOU LAUGH?

AN ALGORITHM HAS MATCHED YOU WITH YOUR PERFECT MATE… WITH A CAVEAT. THIS PERSON’S “CUTE” NICKNAME FOR YOU IS “___.” THEY WILL SAY IT EVERY SINGLE DAY.

DO YOU GET MARRIED?

YOU’RE TRAPPED IN A STALLED ELEVATOR WITH YOUR ANNOYING BOSS. A FAIRY ONLY YOU CAN SEE TELLS YOU TO ___. OTHERWISE, IT’LL BE 18 HOURS BEFORE YOU’RE RESCUED.

DO YOU DO IT?

YOU’VE BEEN CURSED. EVERY TIME YOU WATCH AN ONLINE VIDEO, YOU LEAVE A COMMENT THAT SAYS, “___.” YOUR FRIEND JUST CLAIMS SHE WATCHED THE CUTEST TODDLER VIDEO OF ALL TIME.

DO YOU WATCH IT?

IT’S ANCIENT EGYPT AND YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE PHARAOH. YOU WILL HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. BUT WHEN THE GODS DECIDE YOUR REIGN IS OVER, YOU WILL BE KILLED BY ___.

DO YOU RUN AWAY FROM THIS SITUATION?

YOU HAVE A LIFETIME SKIPPASS, EANING YOU CAN SKIP TO THE FRONT OF ANY LINE. BUT EVERY TIME YOU USE IT, IT WILL AUTOMATICALLY TRANSPORT <THIS PERSON> TO ___ FOR ONE HOUR.

DO YOU TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT?

YOU JUST ATE THE BEST MEAL OF YOUR LIFE. IT WAS SO GOOD IT MADE YOU TEAR UP A BIT. AFTERWARDS, THE CHEF WALKS OUT AND INFORMS YOU IT CONTAINED ___.

WOULD YOU EVER ORDER IT AGAIN?

WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, YOU NOTICE A SIGN FOR A TOWN 50 MILES AWAY. HOWEVER, IT’S NOT LOCATED ON YOUR GPS. A BILLBOARD FOR THE TOWN ADVERTISES THAT IT HAS ___.

DO YOU INVESTIGATE?

YOU’RE A RIDE SHARE DRIVER. IF YOU END THE DAY WITH A 5-STAR RATING YOU GET ___. A TERRIBLE PASSENGER DEMANDS YOU RUN A RED LIGHT.

DO YOU?

YOU DISCOVER THAT YOU CAN COMMAND A SPECIES OF ANIMAL. YOUR POWERS WORK ON ___. A VILLAIN HAS BEEN TERRORIZING YOUR TOWN.

DO YOU TRY TO STOP HIM?

YOU HAVE BEEN STRIKING OUT ROMANTICALLY. WEIRDLY ENOUGH, YOU START RECEIVING GREAT DATING ADVICE FROM ___. ONLY YOU CAN HEAR IT SPEAK.

DO YOU BRING IT ON YOUR FIRST DATE?

YOU ACCIDENTLY SLEEP FOR 100 YEARS. WHEN YOU AWAKE, YOU FIND THAT SOCIETY IS WILDLY DIFFERENT. INSTEAD OF A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT, WE ARE RULLED BY ___.

DO YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SEE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS?

YOU’RE DESPERATELY SINGLE. THERE’S A NEW DATING APP THAT GUARANTEES YOU’LL FIND YOUR SOULMATE. IN ORDER TO SET UP AN ACCOUNT, YOU HAVE TO UPLOAD ___.

DO YOU REGISTER?

ANOTHER GREAT DEPRESSION IS UPON US. LUCKILY, YOU HAVE A JOB BUT <THIS PERSON> IS YOUR BOSS. THEY ENACT A WORK POLICY STATING ALL EMPLOYEES MUST ___. NO EXCEPTIONS.

DO YOU FOLLOW THE RULES?

YOU MAKE A FULL YEAR’S SALARY WORKING ONE WEEK A YEAR AS A CRAB FISHERMAN. DURING THAT WEEK, YOU PULL UP YOUR NET TO DISCOVER YOU’VE CAUGHT ___. SAVING ITS LIFE MEANS YOU WILL HAVE TO THROW BACK EVERY CRAB YOU CAUGHT.

DO YOU SAVE IT?

A FAMOUS GRAFFITI ARTIST COVERS THE FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE WITH IMAGES OF ___. SUDDENLY, THE VALUE OF YOUR HOME INCREASES BY 10%.

DO YOU KEEP IT?

IT’S 1941. YOU’RE IN THE SAME LOCKED ROOM AS HITLER. ALONE. THE ONLY OBJECT IN THE ROOM IS A ___. YOU WILL VANISH IN FIVE MINUTES. IF YOU TRY TO KILL HIM AND FAIL, HE’LL WIN WW2.

DO YOU TRY TO ASSASSINATE HITLER?

YOU’VE BEEN ACCUSED OF A CRIME YOU DIDN’T COMMIT. A PRO BONO LAWYER REACHES OUT TO REPRESENT YOU. THIS INDIVIDUAL IS INTELLIGENT AND HAS A LOT OF EXPERIENCE; HOWEVER, THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE ___.

DO YOU LET THIS PERSON REPRESENT YOU?

YOU ARE GIVING <THIS PERSON> A MASSAGE. YOU KNOW A TECHNIQUE THAT WILL INSTANTLY RELIEVE OF THEIR PAIN. BUT IT INVOLVES YOU ___ …WHILE MAINTAINING PERFECT EYE CONTACT.

DO YOU USE THE TECHNIQUE?

YOU’RE ALONE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH YOUR SISTER’S NEW BABY AND ANOTHER BABY. A DNA TESTING CHART SHOWS THE OTHER BABY WILL HAVE AN IQ OF 160 AND SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH, BUT YOUR SISTER’S BABY WILL BECOME ___

DO YOU SWITCH THEM?

OVERNIGHT, YOU BECOME THE WORLD’S BIGGEST INTERNET CELEBRITY. YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY YOUR DREAM HOUSE. HOW DID YOU GET HERE? YOU RECORDED YOURSELF ___.

IS THE FAME WORTH IT?

YOU ARE TRANSPORTED BACK TO THE MOMENT RIGHT BEFORE YOU WERE CONCEIVED. IF YOU WATCH YOUR PARENTS PERFORM THE ACT, YOU’LL BE BORN WITH THE ABILITY TO ___. YOU MUST WATCH EVERY SECOND, THOUGH.

DO YOU WATCH?

YOU’RE ABOUT TO HAVE YOUR FIRST CHILD. AS PART OF A NEW INITIATIVE, ___ OFFERS YOU TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING—FOOD, CLOTHES AND SCHOOLING—IF THEY CAN “SPONSOR” YOUR CHILD. THAT MEANS SHE’LL WEAR SUTLY BRANDED CLOTHES UNTIL SHE’S 18.

DO YOU TAKE THE MONEY?

A HUMAN MUTATION ALLOWS YOU TO ATTRACT MATES BY SHOUTING THIS SOUND: “___!” IT DOESN’T WORK ON EVERYBODY, THOUGH. YOU’RE ATTENDING A JOB FAIR WHEN YOU NOTICE SOMEONE REALLY ATTRACTIVE.

DO YOU MAKE THAT SOUND?

WHEN YOU PICKED UP THE CAKE YOU ORDERED FOR YOUR SON’S BIRTHDAY, YOU DIDN’T LOOK INSIDE THE BOX. AS YOU REVEAL THE CAKE TO THE KIDS, YOU DISCOVER THAT IT SAYS, “___!”

DO YOU SMASH THE CAKE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS?

YOU’RE ANCHORING A NEWS PROGRAM WITH YOUR CO-HOST, <THIS PERSON>. NOT AWARE THEY’RE STILL ON AIR, THEY START SAYING, “___.”

DO YOU TELL YOUR PRODUCER TO CUT TO COMMERCIAL?

IT’S YOUR PARENTS’ BIG ANNIVERSARY PARTY, AND ALL THEY WANTED WAS A PRIVATE KARAOKE ROOM FOR THEM AND A BUNCH OF THEIR NEIGHBORS. YOU SHOW UP AND REALIZE THE MONITORS ARE ALL PLAYING VIDEOS OF ___. THERE IS NO WAY TO TURN OFF THE VIDEOS.

DO YOU LET YOUR PARENTS ROCK THE MIC?

YOU’RE A MORTICIAN’S ASSISTANT WHO JUST BURIED A BELOVED KID’S SHOW HOST. YOU SUDDENLY REALIZE YOU DROPPED YOUR ___ IN THE COFFIN.

DO YOU DIG UP THE BEAUTIFULLY DECORATED GRAVE TO RETRIEVE IT?

YOUR MOUTH IS RIDDLED WITH CAVITIES. THE DENTIST IS GOING TO HAVE TO PULL ALL YOUR TEETH… UNLESS YOU BRUSH TWICE A DAY WITH ___ INSTEAD OF TOOTHPASTE.

DO YOU ADOPT THIS NEW BRUSHING METHOD?

YOUR DAUGHTER IS OBSESSED WITH THIS ONE CARTOON. HOWEVER, WHEN YOU SLOW DOWN THE VIDEO, YOU FIND A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE THAT SAYS, “___.”

DO YOU LET HER KEEP WATCHING IT?

AFTER THREE YEARS OF MARRAGE, YOUR SPOUSE REVEALS THEY ARE A SECRET AGENT. THEIR MISSION? THEY’VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO TAKE DOWN ___.

DO YOU STAY WITH THEM?

YOUR FIANCÉ HAS THEIR HEART SET ON A PARTICULAR SONG FOR YOUR FIRST DANCE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT’S AN ACCUSTIC COVER OF “___” SUNG BY <THIS PERSON>.

DO YOU MAKE THEM HAPPY BY SAYING YES?

YOU FACLIATE SEXUAL HARASSMENT WORKSHOPS FOR A LIVING. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU JUST DEVELOPED A RARE NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION THAT CAUSES YOU TO SPEAK MOSTLY IN QUOTES FROM ___.

DO YOU PERFORM YOUR WORKSHOPS WITHOUT TALKING?

WHENEVER YOU CLIMAX DURING SEX, YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF FROM SHOUTING, “___!” REPEATEDLY FOR TEN SECONDS. YOUR PARTNER IS NOT A FAN.

DO YOU EAR A MASH TO MUFFLE THE SOUND?

YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO IS OUT OF CONTROL. YOU’VE TRIED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT TO NO AVAIL. THE ONLY OPTION LEFT IS A RADICAL PARENTING METHOD” PUNISHMENT BY ___. THERE’S A 25% CHANCE IT WORKS.

DO YOU DO IT?

YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT THE KEY TO A PERFECT PHOTOGENIC SMILE, BUT IT MEANS THAT INSTEAD OF SAYING “CHEESE,” YOU HAVE TO SAY, “___.” YOU ARE POSING FOR A PHOTO WITH NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER MALALA YOUSAFZAI.

DO YOU USE YOUR TRICK?

DUE TO A GLITCH IN YOUR SELF-DRIVING CAR, IT’S TAKING YOU DIRECTLY TO ___. IT’S LABELED AS YOUR FAVORITE DESTINATION. YOUR MOM IS IN THE CAR WITH YOU. IF YOU OVERRIDE THE SYSTEM, IT WILL CAREEN OF THE ROAD.

DO YOU OVERRIDE IT?

WHILE WALKING ON THE BEACH YOU FIND A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE. THE LETTER IS ADDRESSED TO YOU AND IT ONLY INCLUDES ONE SHORT LINE: “___.”

DO YOU TRY TO FIND THIS PERSON?

EVERY DAY YOU CALL YOUR DAD “___.” YOU’LL HAVE $100 AUTOMATICALLY DEPOSITED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. IF HE FINDS OUT ABOUT THE DEPOSITS, THE MONEY STOPS. HE RECENTLY GOT LAID OFF.

DO YOU CALL HIM THAT NAME?

IT’S THE NIGHT OF YOUR FINAL BUSINESS SCHOOL ONLINE EXAM. YOUR INTERNET GOES OUT AND, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN GO FOR WI-FI IS ___. IF YOU MISS THE TEST, YOU AUTOMATICALLY GO DOWN ONE LETTER GRADE.

DO YOU GO THERE?

A NEW PAIR OF HEADPHONES ALLOWS YOU TO UNDERSTAND ANIMALS. ON A WALK IN THE WOODS, YOU OVERHEAR A RABBIT CALLING YOU “___.”

DO YOU KICK IT?

THERE’S A CHIP IN YOUR HEAD THAT MAKES YOU HAVE THE SAME DREAMS AS A CELEBRITY. YOUR DESIGNATED CELEB IS ___. REMOVING THE CHIP MEANS YOU’LL ONLY HAVE BORING DREAMS.

DO YOU KEEP THE CHIP?

EVERY TIME YOU RIDE A HORSE, YOU SAVE A COWBOY’S LIFE. ONE DAY, YOU STUMBLE UPON A HORSE THAT’S ___.

DO YOU RIDE IT?

YOU FIND YOURSELF AT A MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR A MAN YOU’VE NEVER MET. YOU’RE INVITED TO SAY A FEW WORDS. ALL YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DECEASED MAN IS THAT ___. NOBODY ELSE IS GETTING UP THERE.

DO YOU ATTEMPT TO GIVE A EULOGY?

OUT OF THE BLUE, A STRANGER SENDS YOU AN ELECTRONIC PAYMENT OF $1,000 WITH THE MESSAGE” “___.” YOU COULD USE THIS MONEY FOR MEDICAL EXPENSES.

DO YOU RETURN IT?

A NEW SOCIAL MEDIA MOVEMENT ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO POST A VIDEO OF THEMSELVES ___ TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR HEPATITIS B. IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT YOU SUPPORT THIS CAUSE.

DO YOU PARTICIPATE?

YOU HAVE A VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET THAT LETS YOU HAVE VIRTUAL SEX WITH ANYONE YOU’RE CONNECTED WITH ON A JOB SITE. EVERY TIME YOU USE IT, THAT PERSON WILL RECEIVE AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE FROM YOUR ACCOUNT THAT SAYS, “___.”

DO YOU USE IT?

• PART-TIME VOLUNTEERISM IS NOW MANDATORY. THE MOST DECIRABLE PERMANENT JOBS HAVE ALREADY BEEN TAKEN. THE TWO REMAINING OPTIONS ARE SANITIZING HOSPITAL BEDPANS OR ___.

WHICH VOLUNTEER JOB DO YOU TAKE?

OUR ANSWER: SANITIZING HOSPITAL BEDS


• FOR SOME REASON, WHENEVER YOU LOOK AT EITHER <THIS PLAYER> OR ___, YOU ARE FORCED TO LOCK EYES WITH THEM FOR 10 INTENSE MINUTES.

WHOM DO YOU AVOID EYE CONTECT WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

OUR ANSWER: <THIS PLAYER>


• YOU’VE GONE TO HELL… BUT THE DEVIL TURNS OUT TO BE A REASONABLE GUY. HE GIVES YOU TWO OPTIONS ON HOW TO SPEND ETERNITY THERE. YOU CAN EITHER ENGAGE IN SMALL TALK OR ___.

HOW DO YOU SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL?

OUR ANSWER: ENGAGE IN SMALL TALK


• YOU’VE JUST JOINED THE MOB. YOU CAN GO BY ONE OF TWO NICKNAMES: “BABY TOES” OR “___.”

WHICH MOB NICKNAME DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: BABY TOES


• IT’S 2062 AND 90% OF PEOPLE HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB DELIVERING SOME ODDLY SPECIFIC ITEM TO RICH PEOPLE. YOU CAN EITHER DILIVER SAUERKRAUT OR ___. UPON EACH DELIVERY, YOU HAVE TO SAY “I AM HONORED TO GIVE YOU THIS.”

WHICH ITEM DO YOU DILIVER TO RICH PEOPLE?

OUR ANSWER: SAUERKRAUT


• YOU USED TO BE A BIG MOVIE STAR… BUT NOW YOU’RE WASHED UP. YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS TO GET YOUR CAREER BACK. YOU COULD DO A SITCOM WITH A TALKING EMU OR A SHOW ABOUT ___.

WHICH PROJECT DO YOU PERSUE?

OUR ANSWER: TALKING EMU


• YOU’RE A CLOWN WHO’S BEEN CONVICTED OF CLOWN CRIMES. AS SUCH, YOU ARE TO BE EXECUTED IN A HILARIOUS FASHION. YOU CAN EITHER BE SMOTHERED BY AN ENDLESS ONSLAUGHT OF PIES OR DIE BY ___.

WHICH CLOWN CAPITAL PUNISHMENT DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: DROWNED IN PIES


• YOU WILL BE GRANTED THE ABILITY OF SUPER BALANCE, MEANING YOU WILL NEVER TRIP OR STUMBLE AGAIN. BUT, AS A SIDE EFFECT, YOU WILL EITHER DEVELOP AN INABILITY TO SIT ON STOOLS OR AN INABILITY TO ___.

WHICH ABILITY DO YOU GIVE UP?

OUR ANSWER: SIT ON STOOLS


• YOU ARE A HUGE CELEBRITY WITH THE POWER TO BRING BACK OLD TRENDS. YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT BRINGING BACK EITHER RAT TAILS OR ___.

WHICH FASHION TREND DO YOU BRING BACK?


• THERE’S A NATIONWIDE VOTE TO DECLARE A NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY. YOU CAST THE TIE-BREAKING VOTE. IT IS DOWN TO REALITY TV CELEBRITIES DAY AND ___.

WHICH NEW HOLIDAY DO YOU VOTE FOR?

OUR ANSWER: REALITY TV CELEBRITIES DAY

• YOU LIVE IN A POST-APOCALYPTIC HELLSCAPE. YOU CAN ETHER JOIN THE GANG THAT’S KNOWN FOR STEALING BABIES OR ONE KNOWN FOR ___.

WHICH POST-APOCALYPTIC GANG DO YOU JOIN?

OUR ANSWER: ONE THAT STEALS BABIES


• A LILITARY EXPERIMENT WILL GIVE YOU SUPERPOWERS, BUT THERE’S A COST. AS THEY ADJUST YOUR BIOLOGY, THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU ONE WEAKNESS: YOU’LL EITHER BE UNAFFECTED BY CAFFEINE OR ___.

WHICH WEAKNESS DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: UNAFFECTED BY CAFFEINE


• YOU’RE THE CAPTAIN OF A SPACESHIP THAT HAS BECOME TOO HEAVY. THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO DISENGAGE THE SECTION CONTAINING THE BATHROOMS OR THE PART CONTAINING ___. YOU ARE TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM YOUR DESTINATION.

WHAT DO YOU GET RID OF?

OUR ANSWER: BATHROOMS


• YOUR HOUSE IS BURNING. YOU CAN EITHER SAVE NEWLY-DICOVERED EVIDENCE THAT PROVES YOUR BROTHER IS INNOCENT OF MURDER OR YOU CAN SAVE ___. HE HAS A PRETTY GOOD LAWYER.

WHICH ITEM DO YOU SAVE FROM YOUR HOUSE?

OUR ANSWER: EVIDENCE THAT SAVES BROTHER


• TOU’RE A CITY PLANNER. A PUBLIC POLL GIVES YOU TWO OPTIONS FOR THE LANDMARK. YOU CAN EITHER BUILD A 50-FT STATUE OF BENEDICT ARNOLD OR BUILD ___.

WHICH LANDMARK DO YOU CHOOSE TO ERECT?

OUR ANSWER: BENEDICT ARNOLD STATUE


• YOU AND FOUR OTHER PATRONS AT A BUFFET RESTAURANT ARE BEING HELP CAPTIVE. YOU EAT EVERYTHING THAT’S LEFT IN AN HOUR, YOU’LL BE LET GO. YOU CAN EITHER DRINK A GALLON OR GRAVY OR EAT ___.

OUR ANSWER: A GALLON OF GRAVY


• YOU JUST GOT HIRED AT AN UNCONVENTIONAL ZOO. YOU CAN EITHER HOST A SNAKE SHOW OR ___.

WHICH JOB DO YOU TAKE AT THIS STRANGE ZOO?

OUR ANSWER: HOST SNAKE SHOW


• YOU ARE STUMBLING THROUGH THE BRUSH LATE AT NIGHT AND YOU HEAR RUSTLING. FEARFULLY, YOU AIM YOUR RIFLE AND SHOOT. IN THE DAWNING LIGHT, YOU WILL FIND YOU’VE EITHER SHOT A BEAUTIFUL BALD EAGLE OR ___.

WHOSE BLOOD WOULD YOU PREFER ON YOUR HANDS?

OUR ANSWER: BALD EAGLE


• YOU’VE BEEN ELECTED TO THE HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND. AS PART OF INITIATION, YOU GET TO CREATE ONE NEW LAW. YOU CAN EITHER FORBID CALLING PETS “CHILDREN,” OR ___.

WHAT ACT DO YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE ILLEGAL?

OUR ANSWER: CALLING PETS “CHILDREN”


• YOU ARE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND WITH ONLY A HAND CRANK RADIO TO KEEP YOU COMPANY. IT RECEIVES JUST TWO STATIONS. ONE STATION ONLY PROVIDES TRAFFIC REPORTS AND THE OTHER ONE ONLY BROADCASTS ___.

WHICH RADIO STATION TO YOU LISTEN TO?

OUR ANSWER: TRAFFIC REPORTS




• THE MOB IS AFTER YOU, SO YOU NEED A NEW IDENTITY. THE FEDS CAN SET YOU UP AS A SMALL-TOWN BLACKSMITH OR ___.

WHICH NEW IDENTITY DO YOU ASSUME?

OUR ANSWER: RURAL BLACKSMITH


• YOUR GRANDFATHER HAS VERY BIZARRE WISHES FOR HIS REMAINS. YOU CAN DO ONE OF TWO THINGS WITH THE ASHES. YOU CAN EITHER HAVE THEM STUFFED IN YOUR COUCH OR ___.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR GRANDPA’S ASHES?

OUR ANSWER: STUFFED IN A COUCH


• EVERYONE IN YOUR FRIEND GROUP WILL BE FORCED TO ANONYMOUSLY FILL OUT A SHORT QUESTIONNARE ABOUT YOU… AND YOU WILL HAVE TO READ THE RESULTS. YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO QUESTIONS: “WHAT ANNOYS YOU ABOUT ME?” OR “___?”

WHICH QUESTION DO YOU MAKE FOR YOUR FRIENDS ANSWER?

OUR ANSWER: WHAT ANNOYS YOU ABOUT ME?


• YOUR NEW SOLAR SMARTPHONE WILL HAVE UNLIMITED BATTERY. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY AVAILABLE RING TONES ARE “OLD-TIMEY BICYLE HORN” OR… ___. IT CAN NEVER BE CHANGED.

WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: OLD-TIMEY BIKE HORN


• YOU’RE A STRUGGLING TALK SHOW PERSONALITY. TO KEEP YOUR SHOW GOING, YOU MUST GET A PAID SPONSOR. YOUR CHOICES ARE EITHER A HEMORRHOID CREAM BRAND OR ___.

WHICH SPONSOR DO YOU GET FOR YOUR SHOW?

OUR ANSWER: HEMORRHIOD CREAM BRAND


• A SOOTHSAYER INFORMS YOU ABOUT TWO WILD EVENTS IN YOUR FUTURE: ONE OF THEM INVOLVES GETTING TRAPPED IN A CAVE AND THE OTHER ONE INVOLVES ___. SHE CAN ONLY TELL YOU ABOUT ONE.

WHICH EVENT FROM YOUR FUTURE DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT?

OUR ANSWER: GETTING TRAPPED IN A CAVE


• YOU HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO SAY HELLO. WHEN YOU GREET PEOPLE YOU HAVE THE OPTION OF SHOUTING, “YOU ARE HERE RIGHT NOW!” OR “___!”

WHICH DO YOU SELECT AS YOUR NEW GREETING?

OUR ANSWER: YOU ARE HERE RIGHT NOW!


• YOU’RE A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL. DUE TO AN INCIDENT, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE INTO A PAIR OF SWEATPANTS FROM THE LOST & FOUND BIN. THERE’S A PAIR THAT SAYS “SUCCULENT BOOTY” AND ONE THAT SAYS “___.”

WHICH SWEATPANTS DO YOU WEAR AS YOU LEAVE THE BUILDING?

OUR ANSWER: SUCCULENT BOOTY


• YOU ARE PREPARING THE LAST SHIP OFF EARTH BEFORE IT SELF-DESTRUCTS. TWO PEOPLE KNOCK ON THE SHIP’S DOOR. ONE IS A MEDIOCRE DOCTOR; THE OTHER IS ___.

WHOM DO YOU BRING ON BOARD?

OUR ANSWER: MEDIOCRE DOCTOR


• YOU RUN A SMALL COMPANY THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TO HIRE SOMEONE ASAP. YOU ONLY GET TWO APPLICANTS. ONE IS YOUR STEPDAD, THE OTHER IS ___.

WHOM DO YOU HIRE?

OUR ANSWER: YOUR STEPDAD


• ALL SMARTPHONES ONLY HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR ONE APP. AND YOU CAN’T DELET THEM. YOU CAN EITHER CHOOSE A PHONE THAT COMES WITH A CHECKERS APP OR ___.

WHICH LONE APP DO YOU PICK FOR YOUR PHONE?

OUR ANSWER: A CHECKERS APP


• YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT YOUR BOSS WANTS TO VIDEO CONFERENCE. IT’S TWO MINUTES UNTIL THE CALL STARTS AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER TO SET UP THE CAMERA FACING YOUR UNCLEANED KITCHEN OR ___.

WHICH SPOT DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: DIRTY KITCHEN


• YOU ARE AT A PROTEST FOR ENVIROMENTAL PROTECTION. HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO CARRY A SIGN THAT EITHER SAYS “WHALES SUCK!” OR “___!”

WHICH SIGN DO YOU CARRY?

OUR ANSWER: WHALES SUCK!


• YOU ARE A LONELY PERSON LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOOD… BUT A FAIRY CAN BRING ONE OF YOUR INANIMATE OBJECTS TO LIFE. SHE CAN EITHER BREATHE LIFE INTO YOUR MATTRESS OR YOUR ___.

WHICH OBJECT DO YOU WANT TO BECOME SENTINENT?

OUR ANSWER: MATTRESS

• YOU SHOW UP LATE TO A COLLEAGUE’S SILENT AUCTION. REGRETTABLY, YOU PRMISED TO BID $100 ON AN ITEM. THE ONLY THINGS LEFT ARE A CRATE OF PACKING PEANUTS AND ___.

WHICH ITEM DO YOU BID ON?

OUR ANSWER: PACKING PEANUTS


• YOU HAVE CREATED A DEVICE THAT ALLOWS CATS TO TALK LIKE HUMANS. HOWEVER, THEY WILL EITHER SOUND EXACTLY LIKE <THIS PLAYER> OR ___.

WHOSE VOICE DO YOU GIVE TO CATS?

OUR ANSWER: <THIS PLAYER>


• YOU ARE TRAVELING DOWN A MYSTICAL RIVER THAT WILL SOON DIVERGE. DOWN ONE PATH, THERE’S A GROUP OF DOLPHINS THAT CHANT YOUR NAME; DOWN THE OTHER PATH THERE’S ___.

WHICH ROUTE DO YOU TAKE?

OUR ANSWER: DOLPHINS CHANTING YOUR NAME


• YOU LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE HECKLING IS MANDATORY. THE DESIRABLE POSITIONS ARE FILLED, BUT YOU MAY STILL CHOOSE TO BE A HECKLER OF MATH TEACHERS OR OF ___.

WHOM DO YOU CHOOSE TO HECKLE?

OUR ANSWER: MATH TEACHERS


• THE GOVERNMENT NOW NAMES ALL CHILDREN. THEY GIVE YOU TWO OPTIONS FOR YOU RNEWBORN SON: TUD OR ___.

WHICH GOVERNMENT-ENFORCED NAME DO YOU CHOOSE?

OUR ANSWER: TUD


• DESPERATE FOR CASH, YOU SIGN UP TO BE A GUINA PIG. THERE ARE TWO EXPERIMENTS TO CHOOSE FROM. YOU CAN EITHER TEST THE EFFECTS OF AN ALL-ASPARAGUS DIET FOR A WEEK OR ___.

WHICH EXPERIMENT DO YOU PARTAKE IN?

OUR ANSWER: ALL-ASPARAGUS DIET


• YOU QUALIFY FOR A ROBOT ASSISTANT. IT WILL ONLY BE CAPABLE OF ONE TASK: DOING LAUNDRY OR ___.

WHICH SKILL DO YOU WANT YOUR ROBOT TO HAVE?

OUR ANSWER: DOING LAUNDRY


• YOU CAN GET UNLIMITED FREE MOVIE TICKETS. PROVIDED, AT SOME POINT DURING THE MOVIE, YOU STAND UP AND SHOUT, “I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS NEXT” OR… “___.”

WHICH PHRASE DO YOU SHOUT?

OUR ANSWER: “I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?”

Personally, some (if not most) of these prompts are too disturbing for me; I'd either answer yes or no for prompts that whatever players write for blanks doesn't matter to me, while other prompts I'd rather not answer at all.

But, I hope this guide helps anyone curious enough to know what to expect when playing Split the Room.