Look, I ain't no long winded ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who gunna give you the Alistair Cooke-ass history of dis nigguh or how he came to be. I'm assumin' you here for a reason, and it ain't to be listenin' to no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You here cuz you wanna know how to play one of the hardest hittin' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in da whole damn game: Raekwon Sewon.

Now. I'mma break dis down for you. He the only nigguh in da game. Rest of the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in dis game is either a ♥♥♥♥♥ or sum cracka-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ or ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-chingity types wit zippers all over dey selves n' ♥♥♥♥. Dey try to portray dis nigguh as sum sort of Wolf-of-Wallstreet-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out to con people of they stacks, son; but dat sorta ♥♥♥♥ is too complicated fo yuh average nigguh. Too much goddayum work fo too little payout, nahimsayin'? This ♥♥♥♥ was realistic he'd be out on the corner tryin' to sell that product, son, and I ain't talkin' 'bout DLC.

NEway, think you heard enough. If you still here, you must be serious about crushing wit muh boy Sewon. Let's get the damn thing done wit. I'm tired already.

Ight. So muh boy Sewon has a tiny ass moveset. Like Don Imus' resume aftuh 2007 (Ayo, dat nigguh from da Clippers iz gonna know all bout dat ♥♥♥♥ in a minute). It's like dey couldn't even give a nigguh some diversity n' ♥♥♥♥ cuz dey figure dey already bein' diverse enuff nahimean? I did yo azz a favor and trimmed down his movelist to wut u actualee gonn2 use. Hollah atcha boy if use a shorty 2 thank me later, yuh.

I'm jus gonna talk bout da moves u gon use. ♥♥♥♥ all dat other ♥♥♥♥. You can form your own opinion on it cuz you a grown ass man. Why? Cuz you playin' Sewon, nigguh.

Before we break into dis ♥♥♥♥, tho thuhs one thing you gotta know: dis nigguh attack slow as ♥♥♥, mang. A lot of da character in dis game is gonna dance circles 'round yo ass, so yuh gotta be real careful about how you gunna approach a situation. At least you don't gotta worry bout'cho attack straight up going over a nigguhs head like dat po' bastard Dan Mai.


L->R - Dis yo bread, buttuh, n bananananas. Practically da whole damn game can be played from dis combo on any of da nigguhs in dis dayum game. Wut you gotta kno is the first attack of the chain is slow as ♥♥♥. Against some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like Ridika, dat ♥♥♥♥ is gon be hard 2 land cuz she flashin' on yo ass 2 quik. Give dey head a bounce wit dis combo n follow up wit wuteva you want. It's open spaces from dere: a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' dreamscape of possibilities n' ♥♥♥♥.


L->L->L - Standard combo. Dis ♥♥♥♥ is wut you find yself usin' to finish 'em off. Da second string of animations is a multihit dat does sum gud damage. Yuh probably won't be usin' this ♥♥♥♥ as much as your Alt+R. Ayo, you know da nigguh yuh hittin' on is ded when son say to 'iself "Quick Deposit". Dats da queue dat he all finished up wit 'em and left a print in dey ass. Dey won't know how much you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 'em up til 9 months later, nahimean?


Alt+R - Dis is an instantaneous cast of yo R. It hit like dat nigguh Arturo Gatti fo' 'is ♥♥♥♥♥ stuck 'em in a Brazilian ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, nahimean? Wut yo ass needz 2 kno bout dis skill is it hits a lil bit outside of its range indicator. Great ♥♥♥♥ for nailin' that sneaky ♥♥♥♥♥ Renoah when she tryin' to run away. Or half da damn cast of baby-thighs soft-as-♥♥♥♥ kitin'-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who run around like dey got they head all tha way up in dey ass and can't find a proper fulcrum and lever to pry it out, nahimean? ♥♥♥♥♥♥' Archimedes can't even help 'em. Word. Dis includes Ridika, Renoah, and Elrath. Give 'em duh business, son. Don't ever look back. Soon all da whack nigguhz in yuh game r gunna ♥♥♥♥ dey draws when dey see dis:



Ayo, I changed muh mind 'bout dis ♥♥♥♥ bein' useless when charged. If you gotta Valle on yuh team you two nigguhs can connect and heal up da whole crew. You can't be knocked up or interrupted or ♥♥♥♥♥♥' ANYTHING while you chargin' dis muh. I still think it situational as ♥♥♥♥, but it ain't as useless as I thought before. Just goes to show yuh, yo homie Lean can be wrong sometime. It's pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rare, but it do.


jR - Ayo, I ain't gunna go round tryin' to ♥♥♥♥ on otha Sewon playas backs cuz we family, but dis move ain't all its cracked up to be. Look ere. Sum nigguhs seem to be of the mindset dat dis ♥♥♥♥ right ere is da bidness. While I ain't sayin' its baby-thighs, it damn sure ain't the only move in your repertoire, nahimean? Dis move is gud fo chasin' cuz it quik as ♥♥♥, mang. If yuh tryin' to put some nigguh in da dirt, use yo Alt+R instead. But if son still has some work ta do, den use dis ♥♥♥♥ to flinch 'em up and squeeze up on dem wit dat combo, cuz.

F - Hit da lean n' start slurrin' slurrin', while u swervin' swervin'. Ight, dis ♥♥♥♥ is amazin', cuz. All you do is hit it when Renoah tryin' to gat yo boyz or u. It'll stop her whole ♥♥♥♥. Use it when ice-lady is tryin' to slow your ♥♥♥♥ down. Use it judiciously, cuz it's cheap as ♥♥♥ and will save yo ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' LYFE. ♥♥♥♥ dat gits ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ uuuuuup by dis joint:

• Renoah's global snipe.
  
• Frost Renny's freeze and slow.
  
• Dan Mei's chains. ♥♥♥♥ don't work. You stuck.
  
• Immolation from Tiac or Renny F.
  
• Ridika's Love is Blind.

Q - Ayo, dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur da bidness and no mistake muh nigguh. Dis is Sewon's signature move and defines every aspect of 'is play, noimsayin'? Yuh owe it to yuhself cuz to get to know the ins and outs of dis ♥♥♥♥ INTIMATELY, b.

Now. Up until dis point I've been cool 'bout not mentionin' all thuh obvious ♥♥♥♥♥♥' racism dat went into makin' dis hur ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Basically wut'chu got 'ere is sum David Carradine saffron-robe-wearin' nigguh flashin' 'is chain tryin' to hollah at all dese non-black wimin' 'n ♥♥♥♥. I'm jus surprised dese nigguhs who made thuh game didn't go full tilt and give dis nigguh a pimp hat and a fotty and have posters hung up all over da ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ levels sayin' he wanted for questionin' in a sexual assault or sum ♥♥♥♥. Dey somehow showed some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' restraint, but dey still couldn't help deyselves.

Of all thuh cartoonish SHO-DUN-SEEN-ME-NO-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-ELEPHANT-FLY-MASSA-CATCHA ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dey poured into dis mug, tha most gangsta n' tru 2 lyfe is dis nigguh right here will STEAL YO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' LIFE, cuz. There is nuthin' mo' real den dat, playa. So all you nigguhs out in tha streets need 2 put thuh word out about dis nigguh Sewon. I mean, you gotta be out'cha ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mind fo' even approachin' dis nigguh. Look at 'is ass. ♥♥♥♥♥♥' gold shoes and the HARDEST ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' stare I ever seen on a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ man. Nigguh puttin' nails in yo coffine in 'is head, b. ♥♥♥♥, mang. Got my ass a little sidetracked.

NEWAY, wut'chu need 2 know 'bout dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur is when to judiciously use it, nahimsayin'? Dis joint give you sum decent damage reduction, so plan accordingly. You can survive some pretty amazin' ♥♥♥♥ just by swappin' health every time dat ♥♥♥♥ off cooldown. Can be a little tricky to hit thuh nigguh you want wit it, tho.

Dis is like when Trevyon had dat old ass dude on the ground and wuz givin' him da bidness, then he pull his piece and dump his mag in em. Dats you. You the nigguh on the ground wit da gun waitin' fo' the right time to pull it out.


Shift - Dis joint right hur one of da most misunderstood ♥♥♥♥♥♥' moves in dah whole damn game. Look ere. Dis ♥♥♥♥ si tricky to use, son, but like chopsticks if yuh master it you gonna be stylin' on ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ from dat day forward. Nothin' is more embarassin' den goin' into a chinese place and usin' a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' fork, b. Don't do dat. Don't be thuh nigguh with tha fork. Learn to use dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur. I ain't gunna lie to you and tell you it's all peaches n' cream, tho (and don't let me ever catch yo ass bumpin' dat ♥♥♥♥♥♥' song, either mang - ♥♥♥♥ is whack).

Dis is sum ♥♥♥♥ yuh can ♥♥♥♥ wit by usin' dis ♥♥♥♥ on point:

• Renoah's ult. Squeeze up on shift when you see the reticle disappear before the bullet hits. Use this if you need your pink ♥♥♥♥ for swap and can't spare any to hit da lean.
  
• Quick recovery. Use it at the VERY end of someone comboing you to get an invincibility frame so you can start counter attacking quicker. Very tricky.
  
• Dodge big damage abilities.

I did sum testin' and found out dis ♥♥♥♥ don't do nuthin' if you use it as an enemy Sewon swap goes off. Was wurf a shot, tho.

In thuh end, it probably ain't as good as a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' dodge or sprint, but it's all we got, playa. Make use of it.

Ayo, one thing dat it don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥' work on is dat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' train. Don't ask me how I know, cuz.

Look ere. Chippin' ain't ♥♥♥♥ in this game. So be careful as ♥♥♥ when you tappin' on dos keys, son. Yuh dun wan 2 extend yur attack animation any mo than ya gotta, cuz. Fo' dat reason you gonna keep it simple. Say wit me:

L->R.

Dats it. Yuh dun need ne of dat fancy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Yuh gunna knock 'em up and keep 'em up, nahimsayin'? Some time if you wanna style on sum poor ass person you can do summin' like dis:

L->R, L->R, L->L->L, L->A+R.

Ayo, dey gon be like dis when you done:



So you gonna bounce this nigguh up twice and then slap 'im around a bit. Den you get INSIDE dey head and start to charge yo block break, cuz you gonna be slappin' dey ♥♥♥♥ so hard dat da furst thang they gon do is jam up on dey block key like a crackas jeans on 'is ♥♥♥. Dis right hur is sum Sun Tzu ♥♥♥♥ on the low, so don't go tellin' every Tom in the alley. I'll know it wuz u.

Hold R->Release->Alt+R->Alt+R

Sometimes you find yoself in a situation where a bunch of nigguhs gotta die, and dey gotta die right now, b. Usually it's gonna be on a map like tha Bridge where a whole bunch of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is gunna be squeezed up on da point and dey beggin' to be rolled up on like Gang Bustas n' ♥♥♥♥. Dats when you forego the Geneva Conventions of 1949 and whip out'cha weapon of ASS destruction (ayo, don't google that ♥♥♥♥, b - yuh momma be real disappointed): Judgement. Like thuh book of Revelations, dis duh hardest chapter in yuh book of assbeating, dawg.

It's EZ as 1, 2, 3.

1. Charge up your R. As soon as he lift his hands up, let it go.
2. Hit Alt+R.
3. Hit Alt+R.
4. Record any complaints against your use of judgement. Dis ♥♥♥♥ gonna come up again at'cha war trial.

This ain't fancy. It's rough as ♥♥♥♥, mang. The sheer brutality washes away any aeshetic appeal that can be dervied from dis joint. But it's effective as all get-out homie. Dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur the equivilant of bringin' a TEC-9 to a highschool debate. AIN'T GONNA BE A DEBATE, NIGGUH. JUST A LOTTA NIGGUHS GETTIN' TOLD, SON.

Ayo, dis wut it look like if yuh ain't ♥♥♥♥♥♥' it up.

Eventually you gonna git'chaself a name, nigguh. People on da street gunna be all grippin' up on dey purses n' ♥♥♥♥ when dey see you comin', mang. There will be some whisperin' and general discontent and ♥♥♥♥, and eventually some nigguh gon come up n' try to carve iself a name outcha ass, son. When dat day come, you gonna wanna know how to put lil' mac back in his corner with Doc. Dis ♥♥♥♥ ain't no Cuba Gooding Jr. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-ass Gladiator ♥♥♥♥ where you gunna hug up on a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and be is friend and ♥♥♥♥. Dis is serious. Dey feelin' to take yo shine, nigguh. So I'mma impart some knowledge on you, ♥♥♥♥ I learned growin' up in the streets of NagaPit.

I ain't feelin' to give you no Albert and Allen Hughes recreation' of how ♥♥♥♥ was like fo me growin' up tryin' to be a yung nigguh pryin' isself into da game, nahimean? But ♥♥♥♥ was real hard. All ya'll nigguhs out der witcho stickered brims and tight-ass jeans don't know nuthin' bout dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur, so I'mma help you get a leg up, noimsayin'?

Ayo, dis nigguh right hur can be trouble fo' yo whole gahdamn team. It's yuh job to give dis nigguh a good 'ol fashion dirt bath, nahimsayin'? Nigguh already died once.

Somethin' I don't get about dis ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is 'is ♥♥♥♥♥♥' name, mang. Cezanne. Does dis nigguh look like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' french impressionist to you? HAIL no. Developer dropped da ♥♥♥♥ out da ball on dis one. Should of called 'is ass Caravaggio, nahimean? Nigguh all shadow 'n ♥♥♥♥. He like da ♥♥♥♥♥♥' condensation of edgey shadow-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Uneducated ass bastards should have recognized a dead ringer for tenebrism, mang. ♥♥♥♥ it, I'm done wit it.

Look ere. What'chu need to know 'bout dis anorexic-ass Kat-Williams ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is he can poison yuh, son. So remember to squash up on dat F. Dun be shy, just press it. Normally I would think it would go without sayin' that if you block when dem skulls hit'chu den da poison gon be a whole lot less virulent, but some of ya'll ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is dense as Big Puns arteries, nahimean?

Make it a point to kill dis nigguh. If he allowed to just sit back and throw all 'is ♥♥♥♥ around he gon style on you and yo entire crew. If he any good, anyway.

Now dis hur part is ♥♥♥♥♥♥' VITAL, son. Cezanne can simply use 'is Shift to evade FLIP DA SCRIP, so be real damn careful 'bout how you use it against him. If you can, pop dat ♥♥♥♥ soon as he done come out of 'is ethereal jaunt-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Nigguh is usually toast if yuh can get in his face and beat on dat mug. If he standin' outside of 'is little prison of bone and ♥♥♥♥, just give 'em da bidness wit'cho alt+R.

Ayo, dis nigguh called ♥♥♥ cuz dats wut he delivers, nahimean? I got mad respec for all dem nigguhs out dere playin' Dic, cuz homie is actually a credit to tha team. Now I'mma be straight wit'chu. I don't see too many cats playin' dis hur nigguh, so I'll give yuh wut I got.

Wut'cha need 2 kno 'bout dis nigguh is he can drops dese little ♥♥♥♥♥ dat look like wards from dat ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game by Riot. Dey tanky as ♥♥♥♥. If 'lil Warwick Davis as nigguh decide he gun stay ontop of dese ♥♥♥♥♥ he gun git all 'is goddayum armor back. Dis is BAD ♥♥♥♥♥♥' NEWS 4 u, bruh. Thing is when you go to FLIP DA SCRIP on 'is azz yuh gun find out dat if dis man is standin' all up on his little bird things then he gunna get sum armor back. So if tha fight is close and you swappin' fo barely any extra health, he gunna punish da ♥♥♥♥ out'cha. The real problem here is its pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ unfeasible to try to kill them, too. Dese ♥♥♥♥♥ are TOUGH AS NAILS, bruh. Can't scratch 'em.

He packin' a shotty, too so he can try to kite'chu a bit. Not much else to say until I play against sum1 who surprises me wit dis little hobbit ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

All in all, it's muh opinon dat dis nigguh in serious need of some love from thuh developers. Nigguh ain't got nuffin' goin' on dats interestin' 'bout hisself. Poor bastard.

Anotha day, anotha whyfoo. So yuh might be askin' yoself wut makes dis ♥♥♥♥♥ any different from all da otha hos. The answer is dis ♥♥♥♥♥ right hur can wipe yuh whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ team if yuh ♥♥♥♥ around too much. Now despite tha fact that I'm under the strong suspicion this ♥♥♥♥♥ packin' a vibe up her black box (I mean, just look at da way she standin' cuz), ♥♥♥♥♥ can move around. She got dis joint right hur:



She can sweep straight thru yo ass and den turn around start swingin' her piece around. Thankfully a lot of nigguhs don't seem to remember she got dis ♥♥♥♥♥♥' move, and thank Gawd dawg, cuz dis ♥♥♥♥ make her hard as ♥♥♥♥ to pin down.

Dis is da standard combo she gunna unleash on yo team:



Even tho dis ♥♥♥♥♥ look like Michael J. Fox tryin' ta two-step, she actually unleashin' a whole grip of damage on erry nigguh that unfortunate enough to be near her thick ass. Now we be at dis ♥♥♥♥ a long time, so I'm sure by now you can see dat dis ♥♥♥♥♥ leave a big ass openin' - and not just 'tween her legs, son. Capitalize. Give tha ♥♥♥♥♥ da oooooooold Quick Deposit.

Ayo, she got one more move that I need to talk to yuh ass about.



Dis is her jR. Even if she runnin' forward when she jump, da ♥♥♥♥♥'ll straight shoot'cha in yuh dome and backflip away. So be careful when you tryin' to hit her when she runnin' at'cha, cuz she could just be baitin' you into dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur. I wouldn't worry about it too much, tho. Just sort of a minor annoyance, nahimean?

In team fights dis ♥♥♥♥♥ need to be close to yo numbah one priority. Even a dumb ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can do catatrop... catastrop... ayo, ♥♥♥♥♥ can do a bunch of damage to yuh team even if her pilot's a straight-up mouth breather, son. Get real cozey wit dis ♥♥♥♥♥ so she can't move wifout you tryin' to punch her in da baby-maker. Try to stay away if she 'bout to catch you and yuh partna's on the unawares. Reason bein' dat if she start wilin' on yuh peeps you can just cash in on thuh endless utility of Alt+R and knock her ass out of her combo, potentially savin' a nigguh from a serious world of hurt.

She can boost thuh movement speed of her entire crew for 1 bar of pink ♥♥♥♥, too. It's a real damn hassle to try to get away from her ass if she wantin' to catch yuh. Like most cats who dump damage, she ain't got ♥♥♥♥ fo' life or armor. A few combos 'n its lights out for ol' gurl.

Ayo, dis ♥♥♥♥♥ ain't wearin' any drawers, son. Check out thuh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' topiary.



Dis almost as nasty as those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who runnin' around all over public wearin' dat Love Pink pajama ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You a grown ass woman. Wear some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clothes. You see some nigguh walkin' into a store wearin' ♥♥♥♥♥♥' sweat pants and a beater and you be like "Ay, yo. Look at home-boy. Can't even dress his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ self. NIgguh probably livin' with his mah and the only play he see is from his own damn self." But wit a ♥♥♥♥♥ it different. She allowed to go outside lookin' like she just got done binge drinkin' and suckin' off every ♥♥♥♥ dat come within the event horizon of her mouf, cuz. Long as she got a bangin' body not a single peep 'bout dis ♥♥♥♥. Dats called a double standard, mang. Hope you feminist cats take note: soon as you get complete equality yo ass ain't allowed to go out into public lookin' like you just scraped yoself off the linoleum of the local bars bathroom floor, nahimsayin'? ♥♥♥♥ is embarassin'. Have some ♥♥♥♥♥♥' respec fo' yuhself.

While we on thuh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ subject, what's up with ya'll nigguhs out there wearin' yuh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ flipflops wit pulled up socks, mang. When I was comin' up if you was wearin' yuh socks n' flip flops like that we'd expect yo ass to be carryin' a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' fanny pack and sportin' a bad combover. ♥♥♥♥ was uncool as ♥♥♥♥. Someone key me in. Is this part of that whole irony ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that people be forcin' down everyones throats? ♥♥♥♥ isn't ironic. It's just sorry. We used to keep our jeans crisp as ♥♥♥♥, and take a toothbrush and some bleach to our white Fila's. You get some dirt on them Timberlands might as well throw them ♥♥♥♥♥ out, cuz. Take some pride in yuhself. Don't be contributin' to the decay of an already ailing culture. Aight. I'm done ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' now.

Ay I know what'chu thinkin'. Lean, yuh dumbass took a picture of her back, dawg. What you don't know is I'm one step ahead of tha game, nigguh. Look ere. Dis is gon be all you see of this ♥♥♥♥♥, cuz soon as you roll up on her she gonna turn heel and split. All you gonna see is dat lucious ass bouncin' away cuz she know you 'bout to ♥♥♥♥ her up. So now you can easily recognize her ass (ayo, no corny ass pun intended - just a figure of speech noimsayin'?) in a crowd.

Damn, I wish there was somethin' worth sayin' 'bout dis ♥♥♥♥♥ but all she got goin' for her is dat nubian ass, mang. Dats it. Developers crippled her tryin' to make her sum sorta animu magical princess ♥♥♥♥♥ who throw a buncha ♥♥♥♥ around. Aight, we gotta give it a try fo thuh sake of academics.

So I guess what'chu need to know 'bout dis ♥♥♥♥♥ is her R is where it's at. She gonna jump up in da air and start chargin' up a big ball of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to throw at'chu and yo crew. But she vulnerable as ♥♥♥♥, cuz. She think she ain't, but she is. Lotta times they be usin' dey shift to get way da ♥♥♥♥ up in thuh air so dey can throw that ♥♥♥♥ around with impunity. All dey gotta worry about is Renoah, Hyde, and her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ self, right? WRONG, NIGGUH. You gonna run up under dat ♥♥♥♥♥, which is the one place she can't throw dat ♥♥♥♥, and you gonna jam up on yuh Alt+R, cuz. ♥♥♥♥ is gonna erupt under her sweet, ample, booty like Yellowstone. Knock thuh stripes straight out dis cat.

DIs ♥♥♥♥♥ can summon a wall of hematite or sum ♥♥♥♥. Least dats wut I think it is cuz ♥♥♥♥ just crumbles. She can do sum cute ♥♥♥♥ wit it, but nothin' dats gunna change the game. If she hidin' right behind it yuh can slam down on dat Alt+R to bomb on her. Her utha ability damn near useless. She bring up some sorta card captor sakura magic shield ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dat damn near wurfless cuz most nigguhs do physical. Whatever. Doesn't change yuh gameplan any damn way at all.

Her attacks actualeeeee do a grip of damage, but she too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ frail to go toe to toe with muh boy Sewon. Ey, she do dis one ♥♥♥♥ where she try to hit you with the blunt side of her damn farmin' implement. Den she gunna try to pull it back after a long, long, LONG ass attack animation and try to get a back hit. Punish da ♥♥♥♥ out dis ♥♥♥♥♥, mang. Let 'er know thuh only bidness she have fightin' is if she in an inflatable pool all shined up wit oil rubbin' her breasteses all up on anotha ♥♥♥♥♥ fo money.

I ain't into all dis 2d whyfoo ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, but little girls ass outta dis ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ plane of existence, son. Wouldn't be surprised if half da budget went to sculptin' dat muh. Dayum. Make a grown ass man cry.

Dis little nigguh right hur is a pain in da ass, b. My man may look like some sorry ass boss from ♥♥♥♥♥♥' Sonic n' ♥♥♥♥, but he gonna split'cha ♥♥♥♥♥♥' wig if you try to bang wit'em wifout knowin' wut da ♥♥♥ you doin', son. Ayo, check it out.

First thang yuh need to know 'bout little homie is he got a sick ass little combo that puts him RIGHT UP BEHIND YUH, lettin' him get to work on yuh back, bruh. If that ain't enough, nigguh ♥♥♥♥♥ out dese little lightning poops and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. If yuh stand in 'em, dey gonna ♥♥♥ you up proper at his leisure, homie. Little monopoly man-ass gonna find a slot to stick 'is ♥♥♥♥ in. Dis what'chu gonna look out fo':


Aight, coo. So nigguh do an instep and can ♥♥♥♥ yuh ass up. Is dat it? Unfortunately fo' yo ass, no. Nigguh got some otha ♥♥♥♥ that's gonna keep yuh the tips of yuh toes. Nigguh got dis joint where he can set down thes little mines and ♥♥♥♥. He can cluster 'em up and make yuh day real ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sorry. Clever nigguhs like to set dis ♥♥♥♥ ontop of da health regen nodes - sometimes even near the spawn.

Combine the lightning ♥♥♥♥♥ and da mines and dis nigguh can pick where he fight. Which is some serious Sun Tzu ♥♥♥♥, and you know how thuh Gawd feel about Sun Tzu, yuh?

On top of all dat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, little trash-can R2D2 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can bombard you wit grenade launchers and ♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥ all dat peashooter ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with Renoah and Elika, homie come strapped for a serious war. Dey don't do a whole messuh damage, tho. Just some irritatin' ass poke.

So in order to break this nigguhs back you gonna haf to get him away from his set-up. Even still, beware of his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lightning orbs. Try to get anotha nigguh on yuh team to help beat da bricks out 'is ass. Sooner you get dis nigguh down, the easier yo life will become. Dis nigguh basically ♥♥♥, but wit a much bigger ♥♥♥, nahimsayin'?

Ayo, son. Dis nigguh is gay as ♥♥♥♥, dawg. I mean, look at 'is hip swervin' leather pants wearin' ass. If he ain't supposed to appeal to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I dunno wut do. In dat respec tho, he like us: a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' minority. Unlike us, tho, he a piece of ♥♥♥♥ cuz he played by tired ass soft-as-♥♥♥♥ nigguhs who too busy pretendin' dis ♥♥♥♥ Elder Scrolls or summin. Half thuh time you gon see dis nigguh he gun be way, way, WAY in da back tryin' to snipe yo ass wit 'is bow. Thuh good word fo' you muh nigguh is half dese ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can't hit SH!T whit it, tho. It's kind of a shame, cuz nigguh actually got some pretty quick attack animations up close, tho he short range as ♥♥♥.

Sumthin yo ass needs 2 kno is when he go stealf yuh can still see 'is ass on thuh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mini-map, son. I guess tha developers decided that stealth would be annoyin' as ♥♥♥♥ in dis joint so dey made it easy as ♥♥♥♥ for even retarded ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to keep track wit him. Dey did dis, AND gave him that shimmery Predator ♥♥♥♥ so you got two layers of dumbass protection to fall back on in case yuh extra thick, son. At any rate, if nigguh stealfin' on yuh, make sure to grip up on yuh alt+R. ♥♥♥♥ will knock him da ♥♥♥♥ outta his creepin' ass ♥♥♥♥.

Ey, fo' real tho he can put out some damage if he put his tired ass mind to it. It just likely ain't gunna happen cuz the nigguh playin' him don't know what the ♥♥♥♥ dis game about, mang. Capitalize on that ♥♥♥♥. Go after the Valle and all dem otha nigguhs that punch in for a day of hard work knowin' dey gunna haf to put da team on dey back and carry 'em kickin' and screamin' to victory, son. Put them in the dirt, cuz, den focus on worthless-ass nigguhs like Hyde.

Jus so you know, tho, if dis nigguh hit his F and nail yo ass in duh back wit a fully charged arrow it's gonna put'cha ass in a world of pain, nigguh. Don't let 'im stand behind you peggin' you while you tryin' to box some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

He can also drop sum ♥♥♥♥♥♥' black Doritos™ on thuh ground that'll gum yo ♥♥♥♥ up. I think you can shrug it off if yuh hit da lean, tho (untested).

If you see 1 wit the swag-ass suit then you know you in business, son. Dat means he's one of dem cats with disposable income who like 'is character to be all fancy lookin'. He probably take extra pride in his ♥♥♥♥, dawg so make sure to get inside 'is head. Make fun of that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ every time you crush 'is ass, b. Send 'im to bed cryin' after pullin' 'is ♥♥♥♥ to all dem 2d wimin he got on his harddrive.

Damn, dawg. I wuz gonna save dis ♥♥♥♥♥ fo' last, but I think it's time to address the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' elephant in thuh room n' ♥♥♥♥, cuz. We all know dis ♥♥♥♥♥ is the most cowardly-ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥' character in dis mug. Listen, yo. You gonna find tha sorta nigguh who play dis ♥♥♥♥♥ in any game you play. He may be a pastey white ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in real life, but in 'is head he a hitter, noimsayin'? He dat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who puts da scopes n' ♥♥♥♥ on all 'is guns and you can always find 'is ass in thuh very back of da spawn point tryin' to bust the cabbage of nigguhs across the map. He can't deal with problems dat in front of him, dawg. He keeps 'em at length so he can deal wit 'em without personal involvement. I ain't no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' professor, but I think dat speaks volumes for dis nigguh psychologically.

He always gonna be thuh nigguh talkin' a whole book of ♥♥♥♥, too, son. Like a yappy ass chihuahua who sittin' behind a pitbull, he gon be the one on da enemy team spreadin' all sorts of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ all over the place.

Listen hur. Despite the fact dis ♥♥♥♥♥ a weeb magnet, she can actually put out some serious deeps. If she hit'cha in yo dome from the back its lights out, nigguh. Gonna take a ♥♥♥♥ load of damage, son. Thankfully this rests a lot on whether a nigguh can even hit'cho ass or not wit da wonky ass hit detection in this hur joint. Needless to say, the safest place to stand around dis ♥♥♥♥♥ is right in front of her.

There are two schools of thought on how to approach this ♥♥♥♥♥, and luckily fo' yo ass I'm holdin' an honorary doctorate from bof. Thuh first thing you need to establish is whether dis nigguh on point wit his snipin' game or not. Thuh second thing you need to figure out is whether she gonna use her Chun Li kicks or if she a damn coward and gonna kite'cha ass all damn day. If she can't hit ♥♥♥♥, and ain't gonna ♥♥♥♥ wit'cha up close, leave the dumb ♥♥♥♥♥ alone and go find someone worth hittin', nahimsayin'? May as well save her ass for last if she a negative sum contributor, mang.

Now let's all pretend we livin' in a hellish world where da baleful eye of a witches moon hangs overhead like the sword of ♥♥♥♥♥♥' damocles, yuh. Like all the milk in the mothers breastses is turnin' sour in dey babes mouf, cuz. You can hear the bleating of a chained goat echoin' off the shadowy foothills and ♥♥♥♥. Nigguhs lock deyselves in doors for thuh night and put da lights out. In these rare instances dat happen once every so often in the less civilized parts of tha world, there lurks a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' predatory creature of legend, yo. Dis mug is thuh Renoah dat do ♥♥♥♥. She gonna split'cha ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dome wit her gun. You gunna roll up on her thinkin' she easy meat, and she gonna kick da ♥♥♥♥ out'cha. Dis is the worst case scenario. If dis is the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' case, ya'll need'ta prioritize takin' dis ♥♥♥♥♥ out cuz she gonna be a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ earsplitter, nahimsayin'? ♥♥♥♥♥ gonna make yo life ♥♥♥♥♥♥' miserable, b. Bring a friend and beat da ♥♥♥♥ out her ass, mang. Tell her to take her Annie Oakley-ass back to thuh kitchen and boil um sum damn hogs toes. Just don't let the ♥♥♥♥♥ pick you off Enemy-at-the-Gates-style. Dis ♥♥♥♥ ain't gonna happen often, but when it do, it's up to you to step up and beat da bricks out her ass.

Ayo, always remember that you can hit da Lean and purge yoself and yo entire team of her Q, dawg. ♥♥♥♥ is invaluable. Some of dese nigguhs are smart and will wait until the beginnin' of a round to shred yuh whole crews armor rather than stealin' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' kills 'n ♥♥♥♥. Make sure you got some pink ♥♥♥♥ to shrug it off.

When da ♥♥♥♥♥ go to roll away from yuh, use your Alt+R.

Otherwise den that, dis fight is pretty straight forward. Usually you gonna roll up on a nigguh and beat on 'is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ head and there ain't a damn thing he can do, playa. Just watch out for dat aforementioned Renoah dat do ♥♥♥♥. ♥♥♥♥ will haunt'cha ♥♥♥♥♥♥' dreams, mang. Fuhreal.

Ayo, straight up ♥♥♥ dis ♥♥♥♥♥, homie. Listen ere. Nigguhs pick dis ♥♥♥♥♥ cuz she got all dat azz shakin' round tha ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ place when she runnin'. She say all dis ♥♥♥♥ to try to get a nigguhs ♥♥♥♥ stirrin'. Invariably, dis means lonely ass white cats is gunna be the ones pilotin' dis ♥♥♥♥♥. Dey probably got all dem little plastic figures of nip ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wit dey tongues out in provocative poses n' ♥♥♥♥. Dey may even make a .gif every now and den of them dumpin' some pent up aggression all over 'em. I got my ass sidetracked. Either way, what'chu gotta know about dis ♥♥♥♥♥ hur is she gonna flash on you quik like, son. I mean, she attack FAST, dawg. So you gotta get in easy wit dat combo, nahimsayin'? Half the time you gunna go to step to her n' she gunna slap yuh so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard your grandmas rheumatoid arthritis gonna kick in.

Eventually you gonna come to a time when she gunna try to run and kite yo ass. Smack dat ♥♥♥♥♥ down wit'cho Alt + R if she tryin' to peel out. If she get too far away, ♥♥♥♥ it den and go find somethin else to do. Fer serious, da ♥♥♥♥♥ ain't wurf da effort to chase all the way round the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ map in objective based game modes.

Dis cocktease right hur almost got as small a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ movelist was we do. 'Cept her special abilities ♥♥♥♥♥♥' baby-thighs, son. Ain't that a ♥♥♥♥♥ she ain't Sewon.

She do dis one thang where she spin around a lot. She gon do it twice. Just block it up, or better yet get da ♥♥♥♥ out. At the end of dat second spin she gunna pop her collar and try to strike some Vogue-ass pose all QT-pa-2-t style. PUNISH DAT ♥♥♥♥♥. GIT UP IN HER ASS AND LEAVE IT SORE, SON. You don't get a better opening than this. You don't have to Floyd Mayweather to recognize the gap dis ♥♥♥♥♥ leave when she done wit dis hur joint. Keep in mind if she holds alt for the second part, she get supuh armor (no cc).

Member to hit dat Lean, son. Jam up on dat F key when she tryin' to put her lips on yuh, cuz. Yuh don't want that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lips all up on yuh, bruh - she got dat GERM, nahimean?

♥♥♥♥ is inevitable. Like the precession of da earth's axis eventually dis ♥♥♥♥ gon happen and you gonna find some nigguh tryin' to squeeze up on yo turf, son. Nah I could spend all damn day talkin' to yo ass about Lions and protectin' yo pride and ♥♥♥♥ like dat, but the fact is when 2 Sewon meet in da wild, only one of dem nigguhs is gon walk way wit da stacks, see? After all the time I put into tryin' to get yo pillsbury dough boy ass up and outa da gutter, it damn sho better be you, cuz.

Look ere. Dis match up comes down exclusively to da use of your Q. Other nigguhs who read dis guide are gonna know dis, so this ♥♥♥♥ is gonna become real meta on the mindgames, son. The trick is as soon as you see dat nigguh pullin' out his Q, you hit it immediately after. He gon swap, then you gon swap back. Finish 'is dumb ass off cuz he forgot da #1 rule of da game: don't pull out'cha strap less you gunna squeeze.

After you done wit 'is ass make sho you po a fotty out for homie. Erry dead Sewon is just another nigguh dead. Dis is all part of the Illuminati's plan, tho. They want us Sewons to fight one another so we can't organize, b. Dey know wuts up. Dey know we strong. And dey will do anyhing in dey power 2 keep our people down. One love, nigguh. Respect.

Ayo, dis is dedicated to dat old ass rag talkin' 'bout tips n' tricks. When I was a lil' nigguh comin' up da world, I used to get frustrated as ♥♥♥♥ wit some of dese whack ass games, nahimsayin'? Video games wuz ♥♥♥♥♥♥' HARD, cuz. None of dis baby-thighs hand-holdin' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wit'cha gahdamn checkpoints and arrows and gigantic ♥♥♥♥♥♥' lights tellin' yo ass where you need to be and lettin' you try five million times til yo slow ass finally get thuh pattern down. Go play Altered Beast, nigguh. Dose controls was ♥♥♥♥♥♥' STANDARD, mang. INFURIATING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, nahimsayin'? Den dis magazine called "Tips and Tricks" came out and had ALL THA CODES for ALL THA GAMES. Only had to buy one cuz dey pretty much reprinted da same ♥♥♥♥ erry month. Kinda bad marketing decision on dey part. Ah, well. NEWAY. Dis is sum ♥♥♥♥ I learned on how you can keep yoself in da winning state of mind. Accordin' to Sun Tzu:

yo Wen $Trong, AvoiDD Dem. If O' HiGh morALe,, DEpre$$$ deM. $Eemm HumBle 2 filll Dem WIt CoNcEiT. IF Attttttt eASe, ExhAust DEM. If unITeD, $EpaR888 dem. atTacK ThuHH WeaknessES. Emergee 2 thuh $urprIsE. -->[WuT A DiSgRACe]<-

Dis is all about mind games, son. Dis is why fightin' games is so damn real. You gotta get inside yo opponents head and defeat 'is ass from the inside out, nahimean? How you gunna do dat if you don't got'cha head in da game, playa?

First thing yo ass gotta do is put on sum bumpin' ass tunes. Here are some personal recommendations (keep in mind I don't recommend ♥♥♥♥; 'cho ass betta be listenin' to dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur):

Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang Clan 36 Chambers


Na$ - Illmatic


GZA - Liquid Swords


Geto Boys - The Resurrection


NWA - Straight Outta Compton


Yung Lean - Unknown Death 2002


Childish Gambino - Because the Internet


The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die


I could go on, and on, and ON, but dis is jus sum ♥♥♥♥ to whet'cho palette, mang. But I betta not catch'o ass bumpin' any of dat baby-thighs soft-as-♥♥♥♥ Wiz Khalifa ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, or any of dem q-tip crackas like Asher Roth. I guess Eminem is okay. I don't ♥♥♥♥ wit it, tho.

Cash rules everything, CREAM GET DA MONEY. Nah, but fo'real wut I'm about to tell you is parroted by every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out dere dat try to play a game on the level. If yo ass is losin' over and over, do yoself a favor and quit da ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game fo' a minute. Go get sum ♥♥♥♥ ta drink (ayo, better not be Mountain Dew nigguh that ♥♥♥♥ make yo pee-pee stink), do a few exercises (yeah, right), maybe go outside and reflect on the everchanging nature of reality based solely on ones easily fooled perceptions. ♥♥♥♥, I dunno. Whateva you do, just go take a break for a minute. Psychologists will tell you that dis will improve yuh performance, cuz. Ain't NOBODY like to lose over n' over. So what I do is if I lose three times in a row, I call it a day. All you gunna do is get sloppy and keep on losin'. Trust me, dis ♥♥♥♥ right hur is da key.

Ayo, I know what'cha ass is thinkin'. If you wonna dem cats talkin' all dis equality and justice ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (thuh next step from equality is subjugation) on tumblr you probably sayin' to yisself "AYO, LEAN - DAT ♥♥♥♥ IS UNSPORTSMANLIKE. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HUMBLE AND PLAY THE GAME?"

♥♥♥♥ DAT. Listen ere. If nigguhs never got ashamed of deyself den there wouldn't be any need to imrpove, nahimsayin'? Dis ♥♥♥♥ is healthy competition we talkin' 'bout, not denyin' them basic human rights. We ain't ♥♥♥♥♥♥' Hobby Lobby, nigguh. Sometimes a nigguh need to be told he a piece of ♥♥♥♥ so he can take a good, hard, look at isself and decide whether it's wurf it or not fo him to continue playin'. You either gonna come outta dat ♥♥♥♥ stronger, or you gon go find somethin' else to do wif yuh ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time. Either way, it's a victory for YOU.

Git inside dey head. Nigguhs been on dis earf fo' a long ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' time and it ain't cuz we wuz all singin' We Are the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' World and ♥♥♥♥ holdin' hands and raisin' barns wit one another. Some nigguh saw hisself a fine ass ♥♥♥♥♥ wit a phat 'ol azz and said "♥♥♥♥, nigguh I'd like to club dat ♥♥♥♥♥ upside 'er dome and take her to da cave to show 'er da bidness, son!" Some other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thinkin' the same thing. Well dey can't bof have her, right? One of dese nigguhs got ta ♥♥♥♥♥♥' go. Make sure it ain't you. You want that ♥♥♥♥♥♥' prize? Do everything in your power to git it, dawg. It ain't gonna come to you. Pull out all the stops. To ♥♥♥♥ wit all dis ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ carebear ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ makin' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ out of every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the world. Last thing we need is to become Sweden, nahimsayin'? Dem nigguhs got da game all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up, mang.

Ayo, just make sure you can back it up is all I'm sayin' otherwise you gunna look real ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid. Even den, dis ♥♥♥♥ is a numbers game. You keep talkin' a bunch of ♥♥♥♥, whether you winnin' or losin', sometimes yuh hit pay dirt and git da nigguh all mad and throw 'is game off. You doin' him a favor. He gotta learn to internalize and push through dat ♥♥♥♥. Can't be gettin' all ♥♥♥♥♥♥' mad at people on the internet if you a grown ass man. ♥♥♥♥ ain't wurf it. Sooner dey realize this ♥♥♥♥ right hur, sooner dey can go club a ♥♥♥♥♥.

Ayo, sometimes it don't even take words. Sometimes you just style on a nigguh so hard he know you talkin' ♥♥♥♥. Observe:

Ayo, I unno why I gotta keep track of dis ♥♥♥♥ or nething but I'mma start tellin' you cats what all I'm doin' when I update dis mug.

12/05/14
AYO, ya'll nigguhs thought I was deeeeeed, ay? Nah, yuh boy jus got a little tired of dis ♥♥♥♥. We gonna finish dis ♥♥♥♥, tho, and no mistake.

• Added Gaspar.

03/05/14

• Added Elika match-up.
  
• Added information about using Alt+R to de-stealth Hyde.

02/05/14

• Added Elrath match-up.
  
• Added Judgement combo.
  
• Added information about his Q in regards to using it against an enemy Sewon's FLIP DA SCRIP.
  
• Ratified erroneous information that his F could be used to get out of Dan Mai's chains.
  
• Included a brief portion about Sewons basic attack at the start of "Pacific Moves".
  
• Updated some information in the Hyde match-up concerning his F and his Q.

01/05/14

• Added Renoah match-up.

30/04/14

• Complete overhaul of table of contents. Turns out thuh nigguhs at Steam dun wanna section be too ♥♥♥♥♥♥' long. Yuh boy Lean hit a stop and had ta turn da whole damn thing upside down to get it right. ♥♥♥♥ should be easier to navigate, I s'pose. I don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥' know.
  
• Added Hyde match-up.
  
• Added Cezanne match-up.
  
• Cleaned up information on his Q.

I'm a busy man and don't got all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ day to sit here talkin' to you. I'll be updatin' this ♥♥♥♥ as I got time. Until then, peace!

2 do list:

- Add character matchups
- Add .gifs for each move and scenarios
- Add graphics

Shout to muh boy, Elem for all the graffix. Hollah.

<-::SWAG me OUT::->