To begin enjoying this game, you must first purchase it on Steam. Do so by locating the Steam Store page and buying the game. Make sure you have allocated the proper disc space for downloading the game. While it is downloading, you may begin preperation by turning off all the lights in the room. Any extra light will anger Year Walk, and it won't give you the full experience out of spite.
Make sure any sources of ambient noise are turned off. Excess noise will also agitate Year Walk. You must do all you can to make Year Walk as comfortable in your home as possible before attempting to experience its splendor.
Do not, under any circumstances, look up a tutorial for this game or watch someone else play it. This will disturb the Year Walk deeply, and those who are foolish enough to spoil this masterpiece have often been found dead in their homes with no obvious cause of death.

Now that you've downloaded and appeased Year Walk, it will be ready to show you its wonders. Open the game. From here you will be able to enter the wonderful world of Year Walk. Remember that any outside disturbances will anger the game. It has been known to lash out at those who anger it. Once you've began your journey, you must see it through to the end in one sitting. Stopping the game mid-journey will greatly anger the Year Walk. This will not end well for you. If you get frightened, steel your nerves and push on. Prove to Year Walk that you can withstand a jumpscare or two.

Year Walk has various characters who will aid you on your journey... or so it seems. Familiarize yourself with them before making contact. It is best to know what you're up against.

This chick is what sets the whole game in motion. You love her. She's your waifu. I mean, look at her, she's a solid 9/10. She has a fetish for ears, but you've got ears, so in the end it really works out.




After seeing the pure beauty of your waifu, you'll meet the polar opposite. This green-skinned chick is ratchet and dirty, she's got twigs in her hair and probably lives outside like a homeless wench. Don't make direct eye contact with her, or she'll ask for spare change. Stupid ho. Follow her back to her place for some reluctant boning, because she'll offer you the key that gets you to the next area if you do.


This guy is the easiest to sympathize with. You find him taking a bath in the stream at the bottom of the map. You yank him out of the water to reveal his suit, which is taboo since moose do not wear clothes. Embarassed, he asks you to bring him the one thing that can restore his honor; four ghost fetuses. Do it for him, because he's a total bro and needs your help. Can't blame him for wanting to look fresh.


Crow Man is a bit of a creeper. Nobody is quite sure what his real role in the story is, but know this; He'll steal your stuff. Not because he's a black bird, that would be racist, but because he's just an all around jerk. Show him who's boss by forcing the white man inside him out. That'll show him.


This is the final boss, and as revealed in the twist at the end of the game, your father. He wants you to rule the galaxy with him as father and son, but you refuse. He eats your hand off, since goats eat everything, but he is also a sheep, so his fluffy wool stops the brute force of your attacks. You lose to him the first time because it's one of those boss fights, but when you return with all seven Chaos Emeralds, the fight is winnable.

Finished the game? Don't think so! Turns out, you have to do the whole thing over again using the special bit of knowledge you gain at the end of the first playthrough. Enjoy the repetition, but your reward this time will be far greater.

This guide was created for comedic purposes only. Some of the jokes won't be fully appreciated until you've finished the whole game. Year Walk is one of my favorite games of all time, and I really do think it is a masterpiece in story telling. It's immersive, atmospheric, and overall beautiful. Share this game with friends and get them to play it to. Or the Churchgrim will visit your dreams.