Monster Hunter: World

Monster Hunter: World

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How to make a girlfriend in Monster Hunter World:Icebourne
By Malum Iudex
You don't.

But in the off chance you manage to find a female in the continent of the new world, here are some tips and tricks to bag you a baddie to hunt with:

Firstly, Shower regularly and brush your teeth.
You will not be able to find love or love someone else if you cannot love yourself first, make personal hygiene a priority in your life, get to the point that it becomes habit as much as it is to boot up monster hunter. Put on deodorant, brush/comb your hair, and take care of yourself, you are worth more than you believe yourself to be worth.

Secondly, Practice socializing.
You won't be able to talk to a girl if you cannot even talk to your parents or siblings or even friends irl, while yes most of us are more than comfortable talking and chatting online, there will be a point that you will be video chatting, upfront even if things go right, you may not smell anymore, but what are you to do if you just stare into a screen? One must be interesting or at the very least carry, lead, and contribute to the conversations of the one you are after or are developing a relation with. We all start somewhere, and normally it is as friends. Go out and talk to your family, to coworkers, to possible customers, learn how to brighten someone's day up so that you may brighten your own day up.

Thirdly, learn to flirt.
Once you no longer smell, and you can socialize appropriately, you will learn how it pick up social cues!
This is by far one of the most CRUCIAL parts of finding a hunting partner in the new world, let alone, one that you may fancy.
You need to make sure your dialogue choices fit any given situation otherwise your reputation will take a toll, no one likes someone that says "I love you" in the first date.

So how do I flirt then?

Be confident, know what you are talking about, always keep politics, religion, weapon choice, and general beliefs outside of conversation, lest it is CRUCIAL that your mate also must have these beliefs, so that you may not put yourself in a relationship that may stagnate.

Be coy, learn when it is appropriate to be coy, give praise when your potential mate defeats a monster in an appropriate amount of time, even if it is horrible, such things as "wow you're so good" or "Amazingly done, that finishing attack was perfectly executed" and if things start to look promising and they have reciprocated, you may try to thrown in something smooth such as "wow you look so good/cute/smart/adorable when you (Insert thing they did in game)"

Be interesting to talk to, not all people like shiny pokemon.

Never use terminology such as:
Babe, baby, hun, hunnie, female, child bearer, dish washer, Fiver, sugar.

Stay away from derogatory terminology, always wait for the female to refer to you first before you try to capitalize on a social cue or possibly intimate situation, it is VITAL.

Fourthly, try to look for someone that is in your league.
We all are well aware of our league, as well as our range, if you have very good self esteem, you should not be in this guide in the first place. Knowing your place ironically is one of the best things you can do, so that you know what to improve upon.
Mastered Hygiene? Mastered Socializing? Mastered Flirting? Now it's time to master hunting. Again, this is looking for a girlfriend in the new world after all, you must master your weapon, so how do you start?

Fight your favorite punching bag. No matter who it may be, getting faster hunt times, improving upon your build if it's going meta or improving upon your niche build, you must improve your hunt time, you are the master of your weapon, you must learn, (Side note, by weapon I do not mean Genitalia you pervert, you know who you are, this is why you need this guide).

You do not need to become a world class speedrunner, merely, improve upon your time, and get good. Search up guides, and learn every input of your weapon, how it is used, why it is used, and when is the best opportunity to use when against monsters.

Fifthly, Diet and health.
This is the big one, the hardest one to start, maintain, and follow up with, be healthy.
As mentioned above, knowing your place and your league will help, but improving upon yourself by touching grass, and maintaining a healthy diet will do nothing more than increase your league, and make you more desirable to all the fifth fleet ladies of the new world.
Remember, this also makes it to where you can be the one to pick and choose in the long run. Possibly encouraging others to follow on your foot steps to improvement.

Lastly, none of this is impossible, everyone has the potential to find someone nice, and suitable for one. if my good friend Brady, who is drop dead ugly, was able to find himself a thick goth mommy, you can too. all you need to do is to follow these steps. and eventually, you will profit.

This has been my cry for help, may God have mercy on my soul.
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28 Comments
cleir 8 Jul @ 8:05pm 
can we get a how to speed run life guide?
:steamhappy:
Kani Kanisseur 2 Jul @ 11:32am 
Can this help me beat fatalis naked run???
slimy slimy, grimy grimy 3 Mar @ 2:44pm 
So unfortunately this guide mentioned nothing about refraining from smoking fentanyl while talking to your potential mate and I had to learn the hard way that it is something you should avoid doing. Please update this guide because it's very misleading
kushina87 25 Feb @ 12:04pm 
Who the hell names themselves ''DiddleMeDaddy''
Shiro 21 Feb @ 12:13pm 
:MHRISE_Felyne:
捨命賠君子 19 Feb @ 10:34pm 
Followed all the steps. where's my thick goth daddy? can you get your friend Brady to write a guide
petpadeiro 19 Feb @ 4:45am 
what armor gives these skill?
meow meow 17 Feb @ 3:16pm 
too many word brain hurt :(
AMAKAKERURYUNOHIRAMEKI 15 Feb @ 9:21am 
ignored above steps and mastered charge blade:steamthumbsup: girl hunters came flocking to me bro
langer 15 Feb @ 8:37am 
Nice guide, should be under every game. Im 44, used to live by similar guidelines and "mastered" it: Married for almost 10 years now, no kids, still gaming but much more relaxed. Dont get nervous if you are approaching and crossing 30, time is on YOUR side (Dont tell that to ANY women, just be aware of it).
And one for all gamers: Most people in the world wouldnt be able to play/understand videogames. YOU are doing sth. for fun, what other people cant, even if they tried. BE self-confident.