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How to get depression online (fast)

By Maldöö <3 POWER

100% percent chance of getting depression, in just a few simple steps, trust me

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Created by

Maldöö <3 POWER
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Category: Achievements, Characters, Classes, Co-op, Crafting, Game Modes, Gameplay Basics, Loot, Maps or Levels, Modding or Configuration, Multiplayer, Secrets, Story or Lore, Trading, Walkthroughs, Weapons, Workshop

Posted

Updated

24 Feb @ 10:26am

2 Mar @ 2:52am

388	Unique Visitors
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Guide Index

Overview

1. Step: Download Apex Legends

2. Step: boot up the game

3. Step: Start up a round of Apex

4. Step: Choose the legend you want to play as

5. Step: Jump location and landing spot

6. Step: Get used to it

7. Accept the fact that playing this game is not good for you, but keep on playing

8. Step: Depression Arc

Comments

1. Step: Download Apex Legends

Download Apex Legends

The first step towards your depression is downloading this beautiful masterpiece of a game.

once your are done with said step, go on with the guide, you are almost there, trust me.

2. Step: boot up the game

Boot up Apex Legends

click on Apex Legends, start it up and get ready to play.

Get into your comfy crying position, we are getting very close.

3. Step: Start up a round of Apex

Start up a round

Click on the "Play" button in the left corner on your ingame screen and wait.

WAIT FOR THE UPCOMING DOOM THAT IS CALLING YOUR NAME.
heed the call of inpending doom, HEEEEEEED IT!

4. Step: Choose the legend you want to play as

Choose the Legend you want to play as

Choose one of the leftover legends, that are out of meta or completely unplayable, and prepare for the skydive.

enjoy your absolute non playable character.
go on with the guide, we are not yet finished here.

5. Step: Jump location and landing spot

Jump location and landing spot

Be ready to follow your jumpmaster into what they think is the best spot to land at.
AND YES, YES IT IS ALWAYS THE MOST CRAMPED UP SPOT WITH AT LEAST HALF THE LOBBY LANDING THERE, GET USED TO IT.

Is it fun already? no? well, that is just what we want, is it not?
KEEP GOING ON WITH THE GUIDE! WE ARE ALMOST FINISHED!

6. Step: Get used to it

Get used to it, you ask?
Well, yeah, get used to dying against the first squad you see in each lobby, because the whole lobby lands on one spot and you got no chance in hell surviving that.

Continue playing anyways, because we love to feel bad and being killed ( ingame, ingame ofc, unless...)
And we love to be trashtalked over ingame voicechat by our teammates that died early on while you survived and did most damage and kills in your team.

7. Accept the fact that playing this game is not good for you, but keep on playing

Accept the fact that playing this game is not good for you, but keep on playing

You accept that the game is no good, but keep on playing because you love being massacred and play a game that is neglected and hated by EA themselves because all they want it the money.

Once you are done with the step of acceptance, your depression arc starts.
Now you will start to play daily, your anger will grow exponentially and you will start spending money on this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game eventhough you hate EA and what has become of this game, but you just cannot help it. It is all you have ever known.

8. Step: Depression Arc

Depression Arc

You made it, I am so proud of you.
Now keep it up for at least 2-3 Seasons and you will be depressed for life.