Welcome to the newest Digitic guide, and welcome back if you've read either my two previous 10 Reasons, my Evolutionary Tree series, or my guide Creative Sentry Nest Destruction.

Shameless self-promotion aside, when you clicked on this guide, you did so because you were intrigued. Maybe you were rushing to defend your beloved heavy regardless of what I say, or maybe you want some proof to show your friends that he really is poorly designed. Perhaps you just want to see how valid my arguments are in your opinion.

Well, read on, as this guide is meant to be less of a complete, end-all shredding of the Heavy's usefulness, but rather as a thought-provoking, conversation-starting opinion. So, whether you completely agree or hate my guts and think I'm stupid, leave a comment below (just be rational in your arguments please, seeing "You're stupid and you suck" as a comment gets incredibly boring after about 30 views.)

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Derp derp derp, just walking to the frontlines.

Without the Gloves or Running Urgently (guess what they do) or the Buffalo Steak Sandwich, the Heavy is the slowest class in the game, and this is only made worse by spinning up a minigun or using the *shudder* Brass Beast. This terrible movement speed means that heavies have a longer effective respawn time (from death back to front lines) if your team doesn't have an Engineer. It also means that literally any class that you attack but don't kill can and will escape before you finish them off. Overall, terrible for impatient players and frustrating for everyone else.

Why? Why would anyone EVER use this piece of...

Of chocolate. Yeah. That's it. Totally.

Anyway, the Heavy is cursed with some of the worst weapons in the game. He's got the almost-useless Dalokohs Bar, the Gloves of Running Urgently which will doom the fat Russian if he's ambushed, and the God-awful Eviction Notice. Seriously, the only people who use this are the REALLY dedicated Fat Scouts.

Not much else to say about this one, just straight-up bad.

Want to get to this? Just spend 2 seconds watching your gun rotate!

This trait makes the Heavy, in my opinion, the single worst class for reacting to threats. It takes about two seconds for a minigun to reach a stage where it can fire bullets, and that leaves the Heavy incredibly slowed and vulnerable to hit-and-runs. As if that wasn't enough, the miniguns (excepting the Tomislav) all make a very loud, frustrating noise that makes the Heavy effectively deaf. This makes him a huge Spy target, which leads directly into my next point...

And that point is that two things can instantly bypass a Heavy's high health.

Backstabs and headshots. The kings of frustration, and they are always looking for a Heavy to use as their next meal. The combination of slow movement speed, large target, and loud spinup make the Heavy easy prey to the instant-kill moves.

Again, not much else to say, so moving on!

God help you if you miss a target this big.

So, I'm not sure if you all have noticed, but the Heavy is really fat. This means that, in any combat, he is most likely to take damage from attacks. He is too large to effectively hide from enemies, and his size also makes it easier for all weapons to hit him. He might have high health, but he's got the bulk to make that irrelevant.

Here's a picture. It's not related to the topic. But it exists, and it's cool.

The Heavy has the worst mobility in the entire game. (NOTE: MOBILITY IS NOT EQUAL TO SPEED.) While other slower classes like the Soldier and Demoman have rocket and stickybomb jumps to get around the map, what does the Heavy have?

Boxing gloves that make him run at the same speed almost everyone else does.

The Heavy is the least able class in terms of movement, with a slow speed, no abilities to reach high spots, and several actions that slow or stop him. Once again, this is a simple one, so let's move on.

It's delicious... if you can afford to stand still for about 5 seconds.

While every weapon in TF2 is a sidegrade to stock weapons, the Heavy seems to get the most painfully obvious, most generalized debuffs to his weapons. Want to be moderately good at reaching a battle? Enjoy +35% damage taken for a while! Want to deal more damage? I hope you don't want to move! Want to eat? Tough luck if an opponent interrupts you!

The Heavy's weapons are simple by nature, and so the debuffs to go with the buffs are pretty hard to avoid. For instance, some Spy weapons like the Big Earner and L'Etranger have some bad debuffs to health and damage, respectively, but a stealthy spy will barely notice. The Heavy, however, lacks any sort of playstyle change that would allow him to avoid these glaring weaknesses in every weapon.

At least the rockets are 100% accurate...

The Heavy's attacks have bullet spread on all damage sources except fists, meaning that any bullets he fires may stray away from where he was aiming. This isn't too bad at close range, but at anything longer than arm's length it turns out that most of the Heavy's bullets will miss or deal so little damage it doesn't matter. This applies to shotguns too, so don't think you're safe if you switch away from that minigun.

Some of the Heavy's most powerful tools are the bonuses that some of his items give him... and he's not often able to use them to their full potential.

Some of the Heavy's weapons, notably the Killing Gloves of Boxing and the Buffalo Steak Sandwich, give him buffs for certain conditions, and in the case of the latter provides a different effect on teammates. However, the minicrits given by the BSS also restrict you to melee only for the duration of its effects, and you can't throw it on the ground to quickly heal yourself like it works for teammates. Also, the KGB give the Heavy full crits on kill for a few seconds, but that time is usually wasted spinning up a minigun. In both cases, meleeing works fairly well, but the Heavy's slow speed makes it tough to get melee kills.

It might be your gun... But it's terrible.

The Heavy's minigun, at maximum dropoff range, deals a whopping, absolutely critical...

3 damage.

It does moderately better than this at close range, but any enemy who reacts and retreats fast enough will experience an exponential decrease in damage recieved from the lumbering Bolshevik. The Heavy's shotguns aren't much better, and as I've said before, melee kills are hard for the Heavy.

Well, you're in trouble now.

The Heavy is an absolute beast of a man, and with the proper support he can mow down an entire enemy team. If pyros and friendly spies always guard him from instakills and medics keep him healthy in the middle of a battle, the heavy can have unrivaled damage output at close range, and can also force an enemy to deal with him before they can do anything else. The Heavy is not a tank, instead he is a human wall that must be broken to advance. Heavies that use their team are usually incredibly successful.

Thanks to all of you for reading, I hope this made you think!

Do you like the guides I write? Are you fine with a month or more between guides? Do you want to see more of these? Join my Steam Group!
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Want to see my previous guide in this series? Here, have a link!
http://cs2bus.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=460692231

Thanks again to everyone who read, I look forward for seeing what you guys think in the comments!