Recent reviews by Kronenscheldt

Probably one of the more fun Metroid-vanias to come out in the years, has bullet hell style elements having you flip all over the room trying to avoid lazers and bullets.
Plus Bunny girls. Nuff said.

Nuclear Throne is a tough-as-nails twin stick shooter that tends to lean towards very difficult, forcing you into situations only some of the most battle hardened Veterans could scoff at.
It'll have you dying and hammering the retry key in a vain attempt to do better, laughing on its titular throne mocking you for even trying an attempt two.
I can only hope someone in the future allows this game to feel pain, and makes it crawl through a microwave tunnel lined with barbed wire and salt, with lemon juice sprinkling down onto it.

Its like Double Dare.
Only with knives and poison gas instead of goo.

I played this game once.
I immediately regretted my decision.

Cmon be honest with yourself....
Doesnt some part of you want to be a cute catgirl in a neighborhood of equally cute catgirls with that one lalafel you all pet?
Update: The Gold Saucer, Chocobo racing and Triple Triad have all been added recently.
So yeah....get on that.

>Girl asks me if I want to get high sometime
>bottom option is erryday
WHY CANT THIS BE MY LIFE?!

Have you seen my launcher?
Its like its in the top percentage of launchers.
0/10 would launch again.

Lichdom's tagline is making a mage feel badass, an admirable goal bogged down by glaring limitations, poorly designed upgrade system and lack of enemy diversity.
Want to cast a bunch of Magic? Too bad you're limited to three schools at a time, all of which are follow a template of Projectile>Shield>AoE making each school little more then a color palette swap and ultimatly are watered down versions of skyrim spells. Add to the fact they include a "Mastery" system that makes you apply other spells in order for your main damage dealers to get damage boosts, I felt it only served to make an already boring and tedious combat system even more tedious and boring as all that you're doing is casting a fireball-esque spell and then switching to an actual fireball. *Yawn*
Enemy Diversity is this: Archers, Mages and Sword wielders. Sometimes they sprinkle a boss in there but its pretty much a beefed up version of one of these types.
The only slighty redeeming quality is the story but I could'nt be helped to slog through the rest of the game to see it.
All in all this game doesnt make me feel like a badass mage, it makes me feel like a magic gimp.

about 5-6 hour long Visual Novel with very one-dimensional characters.
Buy for the cards, play for the Kawaii.

Michael Bay's Resident Evil.
Ada's rocking the james bond vibe, pretty much the only character that fits the all action transition intact, mostly because she's a total badass. Also Wesker is dead(spoiler for RE5) so all real tension is gone from the plot.
Know what you're getting yourself into.