IF YOU LOVE MANAGED DEMOCRACY, LIBERTY, AND HATE ALIENS FOR THEIR AUTOCRACY OR HIVEMIND WAYS, THEN YOU'LL BE DAMN SURE TO ENLIST TODAY! ENLIST RIGHT NOW IF IT MEANS ANOTHER FELLOW HELLDIVER TO SAVE THE GALAXY!!! IF YOU WANT TO PROVE YOURSELF AS A HERO, THEN YOU'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE THE "SUPER EARTH DREAM" A REALITY! NO MATTER THE PLATFORM (except Xbox lol), ALL YOU NEED TO PASS CERTIFICATION IS A GUN, A CAPE, AND THE OVERBEARING CONFIDENCE TO SUCCEED BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! WHEN IN DOUBT - DON'T THINK! SCREAM "FOR DEMOCRACY!!!" AND CHARGE INTO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS HEADFIRST!

YOU'RE LISTENING TO 102.3 HELLDIVERS FM! WHERE WE SPREAD NOTHING BUT DEMOCRACY, TRUTH, AND LIBERTY; THIS AIN'T YOUR CODE-CRUNCHER'S STATION! UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET A COURT-MARTIAL AND A BOOT TO THE ASS, DON THE OFFICIAL HELLDIVER GEAR TO BE THE ONE STOMPING!!!

[Insert Name Here],
[Insert Inspirational Message]. AND YOU'LL MAKE A DAMN FINE CADET!

FROM: MINISTRY OF TRUTH & MINISTRY OF JUSTICE

(Saluting with your left hand is strictly against policy, unless a doctor's note is procured to provide proof of inability to do so with the correct hand.)

(Fill out a C-01 form before performing any act that may result in a child.)

(Remember: Thoughtcrimes kill! Be sure to report any traitorous activity to your nearest Democracy Officer.)